Breaking News - November 3, 2004
RMN Flashnet ”
11 / 3 / 04
The Reconciling Ministries Network Digest

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1. AFTER VOTING DAY: PASTORAL NOTES

Reconciling United Methodists across the country have been praying this past week for people whose hopes and dreams of legal marriage were dangled before voters. Anti-gay amendments succeeded in 11 states -- Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah. We continue to pray for all of us -- whose families have been bandied about uncarefully in election rhetoric -- who continue to be denied equality. This week our Executive Director travels to Ohio to be with some of the most pummeled as they continue the hard work of being reconciling people. Meanwhile, we urge you to do four things:

1. Keep communicating with your pastor and others in your faith community about how all these events feel to you. Especially, tell others if you were feeling hopeful, then reacted to the voting results with sadness, grief or anger. Counselors know that sharing those emotions honestly is an important part in healing and staying whole. The human temptation is often to do the opposite and keep tender emotions a secret, stuffed-inside. Doing that, however, usually backfires. For many people, the right to marry aroused hope and wonderful dreams, and for some that dream is now deferred.

What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore -- And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over -- Like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags Like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

The poet Langston Hughes reminds us that “a dream deferred” can go in untold directions, some of them pathetic and dangerous. RMN urges you to keep communicating honestly in order to prevent those bad outcomes. Tell somebody what’s significant to you. If a loss is significant to you, tell somebody responsible. Start with your pastor, then another good listener in your congregation. Don’t withdraw in order to shield your sadness, or condone the congregation’s awkwardness. Keep the communication open, and help create a faith-community that heals wounds and consoles grief.

2. Keep working. Like Jacob, who was tricked into waiting and working an additional seven years to marry the one he loved (Genesis 29.16-30), know that attaining your dreams requires persistent work. By communicating the fullness of your emotions to your communities, and by committing yourself to working for the right to marry the one you love, you steer the deferred dream toward ultimate love and justice.

3. Keep together. On this morning after, memory replays the lyrics from a song. It tells us to hold on and weather the storm. It assures us that we’re moving closer to our goal. And it asks a key question: “Why don’t we cross the bridge together?” Since the Exodus of long ago, making the journey together seems to be one of God’s favorite themes.

"One thing we learn about God's dealing with people is that God does it in togetherness. The children of Israel moved together across the wilderness. (That wasn't always easy.) The young, vigorous ones probably wanted to go twice the pace. The young mothers with babies and toddlers needed to take it easy. The oldest probably never wanted to move at all. It took a lot of give and take, a lot of consideration for the condition of the other person, a lot of accommodating, but when it was all over, except for those who died along the way, they all got from here to there -- together. They all obeyed the sight of cloud and fire, the sound of trumpets. They grumbled and were punished together -- but together they also saw waters part, rods bud, and fire come out of heaven. They knew each other well. They did it all together." [Footnote: Anne Ortlund, Up With Worship]

Whether you’re fast and vigorous, or wanting to take it easy, a task this big is easier if nobody goes it alone. And you meet some truly amazing people in the Network!

Stick around, and beware the “geographic solution.” It’s probably more productive to work and grow where you are -- even if you feel like you’re in exile after the voting.

The solution does not lie in leaving. There are millions of bisexual, transgender, lesbian, and gay Americans who have no desire to emigrate. And they say: “We will stay where we are. We will keep working and struggling for justice until God’s grace and love prevail everywhere.”

Keep communicating. Keep working. Keep together. Stick around!

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2. QUOTES FROM LGBT EQUALITY LEADERS

1) From the American Civil Liberties Union [ACLU], Matt Coles, “No movement for freedom has ever had a smooth path to progress, and the movement to end the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage is no different. Nine months ago when the mayor of San Francisco married thousands of lesbian and gay couples, we took a giant step forward. Millions of Americans learned how much gay people yearn for the security and place in society that marriage represents. Millions began to understand the commitments members of same-sex couples make to each other, and how unfair it is to treat those couples as strangers.

“Last night, we took a step back. Eleven states changed the very charters that establish our society to try to keep same-sex couples out of that society forever. But we have to keep what happened yesterday in perspective. Most of these were states where we have hardly begun the discussion about the role of same-sex couples in American life.

“In at least Oregon, more than 45 per cent of the people voted not to keep same-sex couples out of marriage. Only 10 years ago, we could hardly get 30 per cent of the public anywhere. The very concept of legal recognition of any kind for same-sex couples is just about 25 years old. Viewed in perspective, the rate of change has been nothing short of remarkable. And viewed in perspective, the direction of change has ultimately been toward the legal recognition of same-sex couples.”

2) From the Human Rights Campaign [HRC], Cheryl Jacques, “These amendments protect no one but instead discriminate against millions of American families. These amendments were put on the ballot to divide people during the heat of the campaign. We need a thoughtful conversation about ensuring that every family has the same rights and responsibilities. Fair-minded Americans know that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are their friends, their families, their co-workers and we deserve equal protection under law.

"The closest margin on the amendments was in Oregon where thousands of same-sex couples there are married. These families - like millions of other Americans - educated their neighbors, families, friends and co-workers about the importance of fairness.

"These key conversations happened across the nation and helped us secure an extremely important victory in Cincinnati, Ohio, beating back a mean-spirited and discriminatory law on the books. The voters there repealed a law that banned the city from enacting non-discrimination laws for gay, lesbian and bisexual citizens. We are proud of that victory and we are proud of all of the GLBT Americans who had those long and difficult conversations that brought more and more straight Americans to the frontlines of the battle for equality.

3) From the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force [NGLTF] Press Releases:

* More than 250,000 Ohio Couples At Risk from Anti-Gay Amendment on Marriage: 50,000 men, women and children in same-sex couple families, 210,000 opposite-sex couples at risk from Ohio anti-gay marriage amendment, study finds.

* More than 80,000 Kentucky Couples at Risk from Anti-Gay Amendment on Marriage: 20,000 men, women and children in same-sex couple families, 64,000 opposite-sex couples at risk from Kentucky anti-gay marriage amendment, study finds.

* More than 175,000 Georgia Couples at Risk From Anti-Gay Amendment on Marriage: 50,000 men, women and children in same-sex couple families, 126,000 opposite-sex couples at risk from Georgia anti-gay marriage amendment, study finds.

4) From Triangle Foundation (Michigan), Jeffrey Montgomery, “We may have lost the popular vote today, but we have clearly won on the issue of fairness and equality. Civil rights and expansion of protection almost never come through ballots and campaigns.

“And while the reality for gays and lesbians is no different today than it was yesterday --- same-sex marriages were illegal then and they still are --- the infamy attached to that prohibition now as an amendment to our Constitution disgraces that document and humiliates our State.”

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3. STRAINS OF BEING BOTH BLACK AND GAY

“But amid the proselytizing, black ministers are overlooking the presence of gay men and women throughout black churches,” said Archbishop Carl Bean, founder of Unity Fellowship of Christ Church in Los Angeles. “Some of them,” he added, “are in highly visible positions, on deacon boards, in pulpits and playing the piano -- as Little Richard once did -- in gospel choirs that generate hundreds of millions of dollars in recording sales each year.”

“A separate gay culture thrives in the black church,” wrote J.L. King, author of "On the Down Low: A Journey Into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep With Men." In a chapter devoted to life in the black church, King wrote that the church is a choice site for gay men seeking partners.

"It's as if the church is in denial," he wrote. "They are unrealistic about the number of members living double lives."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17057-2004Nov1.html

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4. GENDER PUBLIC ADVOCACY COALTION [GPAC] CHALLENGES TOLERANCE OF SCHOOL BULLYING

GenderPAC criticizes comments made by Loudoun County, VA School Supervisor Eugene Delgaudio (R), who announced last week that he believes Sterling Middle School’s anti-bullying efforts should exclude mention of sexual orientation, adding that any anti-bullying program is a “politically correct” tool of “special-interest lobbies” that wastes school time and money.

“These remarks show a complete ignorance about the severity of school bullying. An estimated 8,100 Loudoun County students will be bullied this year, many taunted with anti-gay epithets,” said GenderPAC Executive Director Riki Wilchins. “Anti-gay epithets aren't just about sexual orientation, but about enforcing school yard codes of masculinity through public humiliation and intimidation."

Delgaudio’s remarks were prompted by a parent survey on bullying introduced by the school which included questions regarding sexual orientation-based harassment. Delgaudio wrote a letter to the School Board and the media claiming middle-school children are too young to be introduced to the concept of sexual orientation, even though the survey was only for parents. In his letter, he further commented, “I don’t consider simply ‘talking’ about a child’s perceived sexual orientation to be bullying.”

A recent survey by masculinities expert Michael Kimmel showed that over 90% of recent school shootings involved young boys who were mercilessly taunted, picked-on and threatened with anti-gay epithets -- not because they were gay -- but because they were seen as artistic, quiet, shy, or simply different.

"School bullying and violence are serious issues, and anything that can help prevent the next attack or the next school shooting is worth investing school time and money," added Wilchins.

GenderPAC's GenderYOUTH Network empowers college students to work with local high school youth who may be targeted for bullying and harassment because they don't live up to gender stereotypes.

For more information on joining the GenderYOUTH Network, visit www.gpac.org/youth.

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5. TIME FOR GOOD NEWS: CLAIMING THE PROMISE AND CONVOCATION 2005

1) The much anticipated reprint of Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality is available NOW! Much modern reluctance to accept LGBT persons extends from biblical ignorance. This study, along with a leader’s guide, is compiled by Christian educators and scholars. It: * Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the broader biblical message which affirms we are children or heirs of the Promise. * Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. * Discusses "gracious hospitality," "gift-ed sexuality," and "inclusive holiness." * Tackles hard questions of "right relationship", lust/love, and sexual responsibility.

For more information: http://www.rmnetwork.org/ctp.php

2) The Eighth Reconciling Convocation will be held Labor Day Weekend 2005.

Expect Exciting Worship, Engaging Bible Study, Challenging Workshops, and Creative Community with many talented leaders including Bishop Minerva Carcaño, Mark Miller, Heather Elkins, Rev. Youtha Hardman-Cromwell, Rev. Dr. Karen Oliveto, Jorge Lockward and more...

Mark your calendars and stay tuned for more information!

September 2-5, 2005: Friday-Monday Labor Day Weekend Lake Junaluska, North Carolina

Nestled in the serenity of the Smoky Mountains in Western North Carolina, Lake Junaluska is located in Haywood County, known for the 18 peaks over 6,000 feet, more than any county east of the Mississippi River. The 200-acre lake is surrounded by 1,200 acres of beautiful rolling hills and valleys. Those who have visited have described their "Junaluska Experience" as a renewal of the heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Call for convocation presentation/workshop proposals: To expand the variety of dynamic experiences at convocation, RMN issues a call for presentation/workshop proposals. If you or someone you can recommend is an experienced qualified workshop leader, please send a proposal summarizing both expertise and content focus to troy@rmnetwork.org.

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6. MIRACLE MOMENT(S) -- The Spirit of Inclusion is moving among us.

We include these Moments of significant cultural shifts in the hope these societal events may positively impact life in our Church. The implication is not that these events happen spontaneously or miraculously. These highlights occur after years, even decades of struggle and hard work by many people. We offer them as blessings for our journey. Please send us your Miracle Moments to be included when space allows. Send to Moments@RMNetwork.org.

Selected Miracle Moment(s) for this week:

-- Germany's parliament augmented the rights of same-sex couples with new legislation on Friday, but the provisions stop short of full marriage equality. Story: http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2004/10/29/3

-- A senior Irish Catholic bishop has gone against the pope's recent comments and backed equal rights for lesbian and gay couples. Story: http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2004/10/28/3

-- Openly lesbian officer Lupe Valdez became Dallas County's first female and first Hispanic elected sheriff last night, edging out a three-decade veteran of the sheriff's department. Story: http://www.lupevaldez.com/news110304A.htm

-- Citigroup Inc. specifically bans discrimination based on "gender identity and/or expression." In adopting it, Citigroup joins a growing number of corporations in expanding the reach of protections against discrimination related to sexual identity. Story: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A19597-2004Nov2.html

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The Reconciling Ministries Network is a national network of United Methodist-focused organizations advocating for the full inclusion of persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities into the life of the Church. Founded in 1984, RMN consists of 195 United Methodist congregations, 26 campus ministries, 20 Reconciling Communities, and over 18,000 individuals. Organizations involved include the Parents' Reconciling Network, Reconciling Ministries Clergy, United Methodists of Color, and RMN's student movement, MOSAIC.

For additional information you may contact the Reconciling Ministries Network office at:

Reconciling Ministries Network 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641

773.736.5526 Phone 773.736.5475 Fa

xEmail: rmn@RMNetwork.org Or visit us on the web at www.RMNetwork.org.

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