from former Yankees
Catcher, Yogi Berra. You give a hundred
percent in the first half of the game, and if it isn't enough, in the second
half you give what's left.
When his sworn alibi
fell apart in court, Bernard Tapie, French politician accused of fixing a soccer
match involving the team he owned replied: I have lied in good
faith. A headline in the Sarasota
Morning Star stated: Player Fined for Using
Obscure Language to Umpire.
Bonnie Cunningham,
design manager for colors for Ford, explains the Cougar's "pastel steel blue
frost." (quoted in the Miami
Herald Newspaper)
It's a very blue-green,
almost blue, but it would still be classified in our terms as green.
When we were selling this color--because we had not had green in the lineup
for so long--to get people comfortable with it we did not call it green, we
called it blue.
from Zane Smith, Boston
Red Sox player, discussing rumors that he would not be on the postseason roster. I'm not blind to hearing
what everybody else hears.
Vin Scully, renown sportscaster,
while on air broadcasting a Dodgers-Astros game announced the following
results of a Pittsburgh Pirates/Chicago Cubs game. Today Pittsburgh beat
the Pirates, 6 to 6!
from the Family Feud
Show hosted by Richard Dawson. Host Dawson: In what
month does a women begin to show she is pregnant. Game show contestant:
September from Karyn Buxman
who publishes "LiteBites". She reports the following quote from a memo from a
long distance phone carrier: “We know that communication
is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.”
This quote is from a
programming announcer. Tuesday Night at
the Movies will be seen on Saturday this week instead of Monday.
from Bill Craven,
California state senator, discussing the increase in citizens' initiatives,
in which petition signing is used to change laws. This quote was reported in
the Los Angeles Times. If we [legislators]
don't watch our respective tails, the people are going to be running the government.
from the Detroit
News: Q: How can you tell
the age of a snake? A: It is extremely difficult
to tell the age of a snake unless you know exactly when it was born.
From former vice president
Dan Quayle known for puzzling quotes comes the following: It isn't pollution that's
harming our environment. It's the impurities in air and water that are doing it.
From Rush Limbaugh,
the conservative political commentator comes the following quote on "posturing." I am not going to sit
here and stand for those kind of insults.
From the World of Sports
sportscaster Ray French offers the following confusing anatomy. And he's got the ice
pack on his groin, so it's possibly not the old shoulder injury...
from Mike McCurry, the
White House Press Secretary, discussing whether or not President Clinton would
veto a bill curbing securities lawsuits. Some of our fiends are
for it. Some of our friends are against it. And we're standing with our friends.
from Michael Aspel
of British Radio 2. Red Squirrels. . . you
don't see many of them since they became extinct.
from a statement read
to a church congregation. It appears that the church has an alternative perspective
on the organization of time. There will be a procession
next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the Monastery; but if it rains in the
afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.
