QUOTES AND SOURCES

I am a unique individual, just like everybody else.
(From I am my Own Best Casual Acquaintance by Shanti Goldstein, Contemporary Books)

Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
(From   I Want to Reach Your Mind. . . Where is it Currently Located?© 1994 by Ashleigh Brilliant, Woodbridge Press)

Mental health professionals estimate that 95 percent of us grow up in dysfunctional families.  Mental health amateurs put the numbers even higher.
(From   Heeling Your Inner Dog by Nicole Gregory and Judith Stone, Time Books/Random House)

At least once a day, call your lawyer to chew the fat.
(From   Habits of Ineffective Peopleby Jim Becker, Andy Mayer, and Barrie Maguire, Andrews and McMeel.)

In Chicago, it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.
(From   Loony Laws by Sheryl Lindsell-Roberts, Sterling Publishing)

No point in tellin' de trewt to folks who bizy lyin' to demselves.
(From   Cajun Household Wisdom by Kenneth Atchity, Longmeadow Press)

I used to proclaim that "laughter is the best medicine" until my family doctor sued me for practicing without a license.
(From Classic One-Liners by Gene Perret, Sterling Publishing)

You know you're a workaholic when you love Christmas because no one bothers you at the office.
(From  You Know You're a Workaholic...by Jeanne Hanson and Patricia Marx, Workman Publishing)

If you can't say something nice -- you have management potential.
(From A Treasury of Office Humor by Mary E. Hirsh, Lincoln-Herndon Press)

My brother has one thing I don't have. . .A hardworking brother.
(From There's An Old Southern Saying. . . by Willy May Stern, Down Home Press)