This is a collection from medical interview records written by various paramedics, emergency room receptionists, and (sorry to say) a doctor or two at major hospitals.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
   

The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job as a stock broker instead.
   

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of the genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

The skin was moist and dry.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
   

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
   

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
  

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.