SOMETIMES THE FUNNIEST THINGS LAWYERS SAY
AREN'T MEANT TO BE JOKES. CASE IN POINT: THE FOLLOWING QUESTI0NS FROM LAWYERS WERE
TAKEN FROM OFFICIAL COURT RECORDS NATIONWIDE. THEY WERE COMPILED BY A CLIENT
OF A SALT LAKE CITY LAW FIRM.
Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know
anything about it until the next morning?
The youngest son -- the 20 year old -- how old is
he?
Were you alone or by yourself?
Q: What happened then? A: He told me...he says, "I have to kill you
because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you?
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the
war?
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
that picture. A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
Were you present in court this morning when you were
sworn in?
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your
first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor,
I'd like to strike the next question."
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the
basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
You don't know what it was, and you didn't
know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls?
So, you were gone until you returned?
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on Nov. 8. Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was
Aug. 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time?
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that
you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy
started about 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is
that correct? A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy! How long have you been a French Canadian?
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.
