Our Pastor's Favorite Jokes

If you take some time and read some of our Pastor's sermons, you'll see that they contain a fair amount of jokes.  Here are more of our Pastor's favorite jokes.

"The Medicine Man" 
When an Indian shaman succeeded in driving an evil spirit out of a beautiful 
maiden of the tribe, she exclaimed, "Thank you very much!" and proceeded to 
hug the medicine man. 

The latter's squaw was, however, angered by the maiden's touching gesture of 
gratitude, and told the maiden in no uncertain terms, not to squeeze the 
Shaman!

***

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to 
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup!"

***

A Church School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with 
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "Because they couldn't get a 
baby-sitter."

***

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no 
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, 
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, so I don't want 
them to take me out when I'm dead."

***

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of 
school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at 
school, I'll promise not to believe everything he/she says happens at home."

***

Ever wondered about the abbreviation A.S.A.P?

Generally we think of it in terms of even more hurry
and stress in our lives. Maybe if we think of this
abbreviation in a different manner, we will begin to find
a new way to deal with those rough days along the way.

"There's work to do, deadlines to meet;
You've got no time to spare,
But as you hurry and scurry --
ASAP -- ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

In the midst of family chaos,
'Quality time' is rare.
Do your best; let God do the rest --
ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

It may seem like your worries
Are more than you can bear.
Slow down and take a breather --
ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

God knows how stressful life is;
God wants to ease our cares,
And God will respond. A S A P. --
-- ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

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