ABSENTEE AMNESTY
by Dr. Wayne Evans

                                   
“Where have you been?”  Those are the first words some people hear when they come back to church after being gone for a while. The absence may have been caused by hurt feelings or a difference of opinion with the church’s leadership. Or maybe there has been an illness or death in the family, and no one from the church ever called to inquire. There could have been some legal or personal issue that caused embarrassment.  Maybe they were out of town for business or checking on family matters, and then just got out of the habit of attending worship.

The one who asked the question may only be saying, “I’ve missed you, and I’m glad to see you back.” Unfortunately the words sometimes are heard as an accusation: “Why haven’t you been in worship?” 

On the other hand, some people feel hurt if they come to back to church and no one asks, “How have you been?”  In some cases there has been a significant reason for the absence, and yet no one from the congregation ever acknowledged it. Maybe no one knew. Even worse, maybe no one even cared to inquire.

    Instead of putting people on the defensive with “Where have you been?”  one might just smile like you are happy to see this person and say:  “It’s great to see you. How are you?” 

Then just listen.  Don’t prod. Don’t push. Don’t interrogate. If the person wants to spill their guts, and say, “I lost my job because my so-called best friend at church betrayed a confidence” then he or she will say it. You are giving permission, but if he or she wants to keep the reason private, that’s okay too. It may be too personal of a matter to talk about in front of everyone else standing in the hallway.  

What matters is you have opened the door to welcome someone to whom you are saying, “You are important to me. I’ve missed you. I’m glad you are here.”  Now it is up to the returning person to decide how far he or she wants to go into the relationship.

  Every church should declare an Absentee Amnesty Sunday  which will let everyone come back to church with no questions asked.  People will be welcomed back not as back-sliders, but as brothers and sisters who are always welcome with open arms in their Father’s house.  If the father in the story of the Prodigal Son had asked the young man, “Where have you been?” he may have turned around and never come back. Instead the old man welcomed him with a celebration. 

The older brother of the Prodigal Son responded with hostility to his father’s welcome of the younger man.   Our job is not to judge, but to say, “Welcome, I’m glad your home.” 

Most who are coming back to church are not “prodigals.”  Many just got out of the habit. The good news is that today is the firsts Sunday of the new year.  Everyone has a perfect record of attendance in worship as of today.  So this can be the day you go to church. 

If you are reading this on Sunday afternoon, and you’re thinking, “It’s too late now.”   Let me tell you how to do it differently in the future.  In the Bible, the Hebrew’s day began—not at midnight—but at sundown. That means Sunday starts on what we usually call Saturday evening. Start your Sunday next weekend by planning activities that do not keep you up so late at night causing you to have trouble getting up on Sunday morning. Then get on to Sunday School and worship after being well rested.

I’ve changed my mind: we don’t need an Absentee Amnesty Sunday.  Instead everybody should be able to come to church every week without being cross-examined. If anyone asks, ”Where have you been?”, just smile, raise your eyebrows, and leave them wondering. Let them think what they might, God knows what’s in your heart and is always glad to see you back home in his house.   

The 33rd  Annual North Louisiana Christian Ashram will be held at Trinity United Methodist Church this Thursday evening – Sat. noon.  The Bible teacher is Dr. Evelyn Laycock, of the Director of the Lay Ministry Center at Lake Junaluska, North Carolina and the Evangelist is Bishop William “Bill Hutchinson” of Baton Rouge.  What happens at an Ashram?  Time is set aside for worship, sharing in small groups, silent meditation, prayer, relaxations, Bible study, and fellowship. People of all denominations will be there.

The registration fee includes all five meals from Thursday afternoon – Sat. noon. To register send $50 payable to Ashram,  c/o Sue Carroll, 390 Gaither St., Gilbert LA  71336.  Many people will go to all the trouble of renting a motel room, and driving one hundred miles or more to attend.   It can’t get any easier than this for us to attend.  For more information, call Rev. Andy Hurst at 251-0750.

Wayne Evans is pastor of Ruston’s Grace United Methodist Church.  Contact him at gracepastor@suddenlinkmail.com. An archive of  past columns is at the Pastor’s link at www.graceruston.org