What Is The Hope
The story has it that recently Bill and Hillary Clinton pulled into a gas
station and after pumping gas, Bill had to go into the store for a little bit.
Upon returning to the car Bill observed his wife and the gas station
Attendant having an animated conversation and they gave each other a
hug and a kiss. Bill stood in amazement and disbelief watching what was
playing out in front of him and silently they drove away. Several miles
down the road Bill calmly asked, did you know that gas station attendant,
you seemed rather friendly? Hillary replied, yes I do know him Bill we went
to school together and he was a dear friend; it was good to see him again
for we had so many good times growing up together and I often wonder
about him. Bill replied just think if you had married him you would be the
wife of the gas station attendant instead of the President of the United
States of America. Calmly Hillary replied, Bill, if I would have married him
I would be married to the President of the United States Of America and
you would be the gas station attendant.
The date is 07/05/2006, my diary reads:
I talked for approximately forty minutes yesterday with a woman who
wanted to know… “Pastor Walter, my husband is going to prison for the
fifth time and he may be looking at ten years and he asked me to wait for
him. I don’t know that I can after all I’m not getting any younger and there
are children to raise. The last time he got out he wasn’t out a day until he
was using drugs again and I don’t think he is mad because he was using
and he knows he shouldn’t have…. I think he is mad because he got
caught. He doesn’t get it. My son, pastor, tells me that if I divorce him I am
breaking my marriage vows but I don’t know that I can wait another ten
years or longer to have a marriage and I don’t trust him. Before he got
busted this time, he stole money from me that was for the babies diapers
and food because his habit was more important than their welfare. Pastor
Walter what do I do? I don’t want to go against God but I can’t see waiting
for him with his record. My son says one thing but I feel another, what is
right pastor Walter?” I asked her, “What are your priorities” and she replied
“My children. Should it be my marriage first?” Calmly I replied, “I believe
the children should come first, for first of all they did not ask to be born
and secondly they are our priorities and her husband is an adult who has
choices to make for his welfare, for his marriage and even more
importantly for the welfare and safety of his children.”
What would you do? What would you say…if you were approached as I
was with the question, “My husband is going back to prison for the fifth
time and looking at ten years this time and he’s asking me to wait for him.
I don’t think he’s mad because he used again, I think he’s mad because
he got caught. Am I wrong if I divorce him and get on with my life?”
I listened to her while knowing that God knows I am pro-marriage between
a man and a woman, pro-life and not pro-abuse. Is there a circumstance
where divorce is okay and re-marriage is not a sin?
The Book of Genesis God makes it very clear who marriage is intended
for,
Genesis 2:23-24:
Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and
flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she
was taken out of Man. Therefore a man leaves his father and
his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one
flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were
not ashamed.
The apostle Paul wrote, Ephesians 5:21-30,
Be subject to one another out of the reverence for Christ.
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the
church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is
subject to Christ, so let wives be subject in everything to their
husbands. (Men listen carefully) Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that
he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing
of water with the word, that he might present the church to
himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish. (Men, listen even
more carefully) Even so husbands should love their wives as
their own body (Men, before you comment on her hair
changing color and or gaining weight look in the mirror. Are
you built like you use to be?) He who loves his wife loves
himself (Remember, love comes from within, it does not come
from without and go within). For no man ever hates his own
flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the
church, because we are members of his body.
Paul then goes on to quote from Genesis that a man leaves his family
and man and woman cling to each other.
As we spoke, the lady said to me, “Now pastor, in the Bible God tells us in
the Book of Matthew, Matthew 19:9 –‘And I say to you: whoever divorces
his wife, except for un-chastity, and marries another, commits adultery’.
If I divorce my husband, if I do not wait another ten years for him while he
is in prison, not knowing if I can trust him anymore then than I do now…
would I be an adulterous if I ever remarried?”
Tough questions in a modern world where one can get a dissolution
because they wake up one morning and decide they no longer desire to
be married anymore.
I believe in the United States of America it is easy to get married, about
as easy as deciding to live together. In fact what is the difference between
the words commitment and convenience? As I ask this question I’m not
passing judgment, so don’t think too hard, think letters.
The difference between a commitment and convenience, one letter.
Commitment has ten letters and convenience has eleven letters. I guess
that one letter makes the difference in some relationships. After all, a
commitment revolves around loyalty and work which when combined are
eleven letters like convenience but that word work makes it more difficult
for some.
The Bible explicitly says, Colossians 3:19,
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Ephesians 5:33:
“however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and
let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Respect, which I believe, is a two-way street for if I do not respect myself,
then how can I respect you let alone anyone else? For respect comes from
within and is shone outward to others in love of them.
I listened to her pain, to her wanting to do that which is right in the eyes of
God, for her marriage, but most of all her children and I asked her, “If your
daughters were adults and called home saying mom, and then told you
what you have said to me, what would you tell them?” She replied, “I would
tell them to love themselves enough to get out of an abusive relationship
and get on with your life making sure you do not repeat history.”
I replied, “Mom”, “Yes pastor Walter”, “Mom I think you just answered
your own question. Let’s pray, mom.”
Sometimes in life we find ourselves in tough spots with people who are
hurting and seeking answers in a confused world. Sometimes all we can
do is listen and let them talk. They are hurting, they are lost, and they are
not needing to be judged and damned. All they want to know in this world
is what is the hope of living?
From the letter of Paul to the Ephesians, Ephesians 1:1-18:
Paul, an Apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the
saints who are also faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace to you and
peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who
has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the
heavenly places, even as he chose us in Him before the
foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless
before him. He destined us in love to be his sons through
Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise
of his glorious grace, which he freely bestowed on us in the
Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the
forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his
grace, which he lavished upon us. For he has made known to
us in all wisdom and insight the mystery of his will, according
to his purpose which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the
fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and
on earth. In him, according to the purpose of him who
accomplished all things according to the counsel of his will, we
who first hoped in Christ have been destined and appointed to
live for the praise of his glory. In him you also, who have heard
the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and have
believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,
which is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire
possession of it, to the praise of his glory. For as Jesus sat in
the Upper Room with His disciples he took the bread, broke it
and said, take, eat, this is my body broken for you. Eat this
often in remembrance of me. Then after supper Jesus took the
cup, blessed it and said, take, drink, this is my blood of the
New Covenant shed for the forgiveness of your sins. Drink this
often in remembrance of me.
As I listened to her, hearing her pain, her distrust, her fear, her hurting
for their children who needed a daddy as she needed a husband to love,
cherish, and to hold true to their wedding vows, “Will you take this women
to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for
better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance;
and thereto I pledge you my faith.”
I advised her to listen to what she was saying, for she was answering her
question and that infidelity is not just lust for another’s skin other than your
spouse. Infidelity is also lusting after an addiction. Repeatedly abusing
your spouse whether it is physical and or verbal/mental, let alone neglecting
the responsibility of children. And I reminded her that, “You are beautiful,
'cause God don’t make junk” and when I asked her to repeat what I had
said to her she cried as she said, “cause God don’t make junk.”
Sometimes in life one who is hurting only needs to hear a reason for their
hope, for a reason to keep on living, when they are wondering what is the
hope?
Ephesians 1:15-20
For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord
Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give
thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God
of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a
spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him,
having the eyes of your heart enlightened, that you may know
what is the hope which he has called you, what are the riches
of the glorious saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness
of his power in us who believe, according to the working of his
great might, which he accomplished in Christ when he raised
him from the dead and made him sit at his right hand in the
heavenly places.
Let us pray,
Give thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks to the Holy one, give thanks
because he’s given Jesus Christ His Son. Give thanks with a grateful
heart, give thanks to the Holy One, give thanks because he’s given
Jesus Christ His Son. And now let the weak say I am strong, let
the poor say I am rich because of what the Lord has done for
us. And now let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say
I am rich because of what the Lord has done for us.
Give thanks; give thanks,
Oh Lord.
Amen
07/16/2006JWM
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