Have you ever been so down that you had nowhere to look but up? Such as
with the prophet Jeremiah, who was also known as the Weeping Prophet. Jeremiah, who lived in Judah and was treated by the people of Judah like an
outcast, who had no chance at all in turning his life around. And despite the
obstacles and tremendous pressures in his life Jeremiah did not give up or give
in to that which surrounded and suffocated his life. The obstacles of bitterness,
anger, discouragement, loneliness, depression, suicide, wondering where your
next fix was coming from and something to drink. Yearning for someone
to trust in a world that has hurt you emotionally, physically and psychologically,
let alone God not being there for you in your hour of need.
From a human perspective Jeremiah was a failure but in the eyes of God,
Jeremiah was one of the greatest successes in the Bible. For despite the
tremendous pressures and obstacles which appeared too large to overcome
with his weakness as a liability. Jeremiah who was bitter, angry, discouraged,
lonely and depressed did not give in or give up. or give in. Lost, seeking
something that gives meaning to life, something to trust, a healthy relationship
with someone who wants nothing than friendship as I relate to them as I call out
in the darkness of my self-imposed prison cell. Searching, looking, yearning, for
hope from somewhere in a downward spiral of world, of a living hell. Knowing
deep down within your heart and soul that the world who judges and damns
you without believing in you and knowing what you hear and know.
Listen to what Jeremiah heard and knew, Jeremiah 1:4-9,
Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you, and before I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the
nations.” Then I said, “Ah, LORD GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I
am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, “I am only a youth;”
for to all whom I send you you shall go, and wherever I command you you shall
speak. Be not afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.”
Then the Lord put forth his hand and touched my mouth; and the Lord said to
me, “Behold I have put my words in your mouth.” “Then the Lord put forth his
hand and touched my mouth; and the Lord said to me. “Behold I have put my
words in your mouth”
Remember irrelevant of who you are, God is the potter, we are the clay, and God is constantly shaping us and molding us and in this one does not need to be afraid for one is not alone. One is not alone, as they share their testimony so that others may know there is hope in despair, in loneliness, in depression, in feeling there is no reason to keep on keeping on.
This morning we are blessed, as Jeremiah is alive and in worship with us. Do you recognize Jeremiah among you? Look around, what might Jeremiah be wearing and look like? Jeremiah, where are you? I know you’re here.
Hello everybody, you may know me as Melissa, many of you aren’t aware that I am a recovering addict / alcoholic. I’m going to take you on a brief tour of my life as I grew up in what I call a dysfunction-ally normal family. My father, brothers, uncles, grandfathers and great-grandfathers were alcoholics which I thought was normal, that every family on earth functioned like mine did. I remember dad always telling me “Now don’t you drink or smoke or do drugs, those things aren’t good for you.” Of course, if it was alright for my dad, then it was alright for me, after all I was daddy’s little girl. I learned at an early age how to be a good addict / alcoholic, enabler and co-dependant of our dysfunction-ally normal family. My mother of course was busy being the enabler and co-dependent of our Dysfunction-ally normal family. I personally think that addiction and alcoholism are genetic, as well as a taught behavior.
I was eleven years old when I had my first taste of beer, as expected, I LOVED IT. At 12 years of age I met this tall, skinny, dark haired boy. At 13, we started
dating, never in a million years could I imagine that 15 yrs. Later,
he would play such a huge part in my life. At 13, I began drinking on weekends with friends and smoked my first joint. As time went on the using became more frequent and progressive. At 14, Acid came into the picture, WOW what a picture that
was… very distorted. I still believed this to be normal behavior and continued to use.
The tall, skinny, dark haired boy (Todd) and I broke up and I started seeing someone else. I got pregnant with my oldest son on my 16th birthday, and on April 24, 1995, Michael Andrew was brought into this world. The using stopped while I was pregnant, but immediately after, it started again. At 17, I was introduced to cocaine. At the time I thought this is what I needed…. After all it helped to get things done, so I thought. Todd and I ended up getting back together and after high school we got our first apartment. Of course now I think the world is mine, and I have all the answers, after all, I had my own place. The drinking / using became almost a daily thing. At 21, Todd and I bought a home. You want to talk about a boost to your ego. I thought I was on top of the world. In reality I was living a double life, the one I wanted people to think I was living, and the one that I prayed they wouldn’t find out about.
Christopher Charles was born September 28,2000. Some would think that would settle a girl down, but in my case it made it more necessary. After Christopher was born, after Christopher was born I found what I believed to be the love of my life…. Heroin. I used heroin and cocaine by snorting them for a while. Eventually that wasn’t enough. I started using the needle to inject the heroin and cocaine into my veins. Now I had two loves,
the needle and heroin. A couple years later, the perfect little house with the 2-car garage, fenced in yard and 2 kids wasn’t enough either. My using now was a necessity, not a want. It was no longer about getting high it was about keeping my body well (not dope sick.) My oldest son’s father took me to court for custody and we agreed on shared parenting. Todd and I were no longer together. My cozy existence started to unravel at the seams.
In the end I had absolutely nothing. Ultimately, I became the one person and thing I vowed I would never become. I can say the single one decision I made was giving my youngest son to his grandma and grandpa to take care of. I couldn’t take care of myself, how on earth was I going to take care of this innocent little human being? My oldest son’s father refused to allow me visitations with Michael. I began writing checks on Todd’s account to maintain my using. It was about not being dope sick, not about morals. I eventually ended up selling my TV, home stereo system, car and many other things to the dope man in order to get drugs.
I felt so alone in this in this huge existence. I thought God has failed me, how could he turn his back on one of his children and let them go through life this way? I remember this day so clear, as if it were yesterday. I sat in an empty apartment, with no kids laughing or playing, no material possessions…. only me. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually bankrupt. I was sick, so very sick. I knew I needed help, but I couldn’t imagine my life without drugs, and couldn’t imagine what it would be like if I continued on the path of
self - destruction. I called the two people I did not want to call… my mom and dad.
I went into detox for 3 days, my arms so damaged from shooting drugs into my veins intravenously, and was sick for 2 weeks after I left detox. I went to court for the bad checks and given treatment in lieu of conviction I was placed on the Drug Court Program in Miami County. I wasn’t sure if this was good for me, but I knew I didn’t want to go to prison. Of course I tend to take my own route (the long way) messed up a couple times and was on my last chance when the counselors decided to the one place that would change me. I went to a 90-day inpatient treatment facility in Portsmouth, Ohio. I remember crying when my mom and Debbie dropped me off. I was so scared and felt so alone in this world that was so new to me.
When it was time to graduate the treatment facility, I cried again, not wanting to come home. I had forgotten how to live life, to be a parent, a friend, a daughter, and a member of society. I was afraid to leave this safe haven. Slowly my life started falling into place the way God wanted. I took baby steps in seeing Christopher and Michael, went to Narcotics Anonymous meetings regularly, intensive counseling and successfully completed the Drug Court Program. Todd and I are together.
I was told to find a higher power, something greater than myself to put my faith in, I did just that. For the first time since I had been a little girl, I began to pray, and ask for God’s will. God gave me the strength. I won’t dwell on the past, but I must leave the door unlocked, so I can always see where I was and where I am now. I need that constant reminder. As I look at my life now, I know God did not fail me. He was there for the entire journey, keeping me safe and carrying me. I’ve always thought if God were a fair God, I should be dead by now. God is a loving and passionate God that will always see in me what I cannot or will not see in myself.
So you see, I have been where a lot of people go, but most choose to ignore. I’ve been in degradation, jail, in homes that were being shot at and in my own personal, self built prison and Hell. Today I walk with God. I know that no matter what I face in life. God will carry me through. All I have to do is continue to have faith and give it to God. I enjoy being a part of the church and being involved with the youth. If my message touches only one person, then I have succeeded. If I was given the opportunity to change anything in my past, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Those events happened just the way God intended them to and I would not be the person I am or know what I know today. I believe God had me go through all these trials so that I could pass information on to others. I thank God everyday for the life he has given me, as well as my story to pass along to those still suffering in hopes they will find a new life with Christ the Lord. Thank you for letting me share with you my journey.
Do you see what ‘Eye’ see? Do you hear what I hear? In this world there are many Jeremiahs, male and female, who are as real as your hands. Jeremiahs who live in this world at this very second praying to God and holding onto and believing in hope. For hope is all they have to live for.
In the words of the Psalmist, Psalm 71:1-6
In thee, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! In thy
righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline thy ear to me, and save me! Be thou to me a rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me, for thou art my rock and my fortress. Rescue me, O God from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of the unjust and cruel man. For thou, O Lord, art my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon thee I leaned from my birth; thou art he who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of thee.
Let us pray,
Father God. When I am down and oh my soul so weary, when troubles come and my heart burdened be, then I am still and wait here in the silence until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on Your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be. You raise me up so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on Your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be. Father God we thank you as Melissa has answered your call to share her testimony of living in a living hell to living for Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. In our daily lives Father God may we remember that Christ has no hands but our hands to do His work today. Christ has no feet but our feet to lead all His way. Christ has no tongue but our tongue to tell all how our Lord and Savior Jesus died on an old wooden cross at Calvary. Christ has no help but our help to bring them to His side. We are the only Bible the careless world will read. We are the sinners Gospel; we are the scoffer’s creed. We are the Lord’s last message given in word and deed, what if the line is crooked, what if the type is blurred. What if our hands are busy with other work than His? What if our feet are walking where sins allurement is? What if our tongues are speaking of things His lips would spurn? How can we hope to help others unless from our life, others, and our Lord and Saviors life we are willing to learn?
Amen
