Our inability to think in terms of other cultures, and our abysmal ignorance of other cultures, is illustrated in the inaugura

Sermon: Hurry Up & Wait!

August 30, 2009

Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23 & James 1:17-27

by the Reverend Steve Clunn=

I first heard the phrase “hurry up and wait” my first day in boot camp for the army. My =

drill sergeant, Sergeant Iglacious, used it to descri= be the process we had to go

through that first day of moving quickly from one long line to the next as we were =

issued uniforms and gear; and, given haircuts and immunizations.

It was a long, drawn out proc= ess that seemed so inefficient to us all, but it was the way

things were done. By the end of the day, I realized that “Hurry up and wait”

carried the dual meaning of “we’ve got a purpose to carry out” and “don’t expect

that purpose to be carried out the way you think it ought to.” The require= d

attitudes are vigilance and patience.

<= /o:p>

Those long lines did ultimate= ly serve another purpose, we got to spend a lot of = time

getting to know each other and making a lot of first impressions as we all

transformed from highly individualistic people in to cookie cutter boot camp

trainees.

I realized later that this isn’t necessarily a bad approach to life… A sense of urgency an= d

vigilance in things that are perceived as needing to get done; while remaining

flexible and patient as life finds a way to bog down our plans.

After all, when does life eve= r go exactly the way we had planned? (slide change)

Things alway= s come up as irritants or at inconvenient times. Sometimes, the

unexpected or unwanted events of life stop us in our tracks and cause us to rethink

the big picture all together.

When I was home working one s= ummer, between my Sophmore and Junior years in

college, I made enough money that I could go to the local jewelry store and

purchase an engagement ring. I remember how wonderful I felt as I walked into

the jewelry store with the money to buy a ring in my pocket.

When I got home and told my m= om, she didn’t over react with either joy or alarm, as I

thought she might. Instead, she calmly asked me when I was planning on giving it

to Linda.

“I don’t know yet,” I responded, “maybe around Thanksgiving or Christmas.R= 21; “Fine,” she

said, “what if you let me put it in my safe deposit box until you’re ready; so it’s

safe?” I thought about it for a moment and agreed. (slide change)

<= /o:p>

I think my mom saw something = that I didn’t. A few days before I went back to school,

she said something to me that later caused me to pull up short and rethink what= I

was thinking about for my future.

She said, “you know, Steve, we can all accept a lot for ourselves in life; but when we are=

considering a future that might have a family in it, it doesn’t hurt to ask if th= e

person you think you might love, will also be a good parent to your children.̶= 1;

I was never sure if she was t= alking about her own choices in life or the ones she knew I

was thinking about.

By Thanksgiving, the relation= ship wasn’t going well and I had come to realize that the

relationship Linda and I had built had grown out of our own neediness and

immaturity. It ended shortly after that.

I’ve always given my mo= ther a great deal of credit in the way she approached things. She

could have very easily rushed in with hard hitting and somewhat hurtful words. I =

certainly would have taken them that way if she had criticized my choice to

purchase the ring when I did.

Instead, she somehow found the patience to listen carefully to my words and feelings and,

only then, did she venture to offer advice in a way that was truly helpful.

Words truly are much more pow= erful than we give them credit for. When we are

children, and we are hurt by the harsh words of others; we have often been

encouraged to chant the phrase “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names=

will never hurt me.”

Yet as we said it, we all kne= w it wasn’t true. Words can and do hurt. They can crush our

spirit and when negative words are thrown around often enough, we can begin to

question their validity and begin to doubt ourselves.

In his book, “Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose W= ords Wisely and

Well, Rabbi Joseph Telushki= n tries to tackle the disconnect we often make

between the power of words.

He writes that one of the reason they are likened to an arrow, rather than say, a sword, is

because once words leave = our mouth, they are impossible to truly take back and put away. The damage is d= one.

In a small Eastern European t= own, a man went through the community slandering the

rabbi. One day, feeling suddenly remorseful, he begged the rabbi for forgiveness <= /p>

and offered to undergo any penance to make amends. The rabbi told him to take a=

feather pillow from his home, cut it open, scatter the feathers to the wind, then <= /p>

return to see him. The man did as he was told, then came back to the rabbi and

asked, “Am I now forgiven?”

“Almost,” came the response. “You just have to do one more thing. Go and gather all the

feathers.” “But that’s impossible,&#= 8221; the man protested. “The wind has already

scattered them.”

“Precisely,” the = rabbi answered. “And although you truly wish to correct the evil you

have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage do= ne by your words as it is to

recover the feathers.”

It’s very interesting t= o me that those who put the lectionary together matched up the Mark

and the James passages together.

The Mark passage talks about a conflict that arises between the Pharisees along with

some scribes and Jesus and his followers. The Pharisees have been spying on

Jesus and his followers, as one commentator points out, to see if they are living up

to the traditions of the faith.

<= /o:p>

They see that they are not al= ways washing their hands before they eat; part of the purity

codes.

Jesus and his followers reput= ation has been growing among the people. Were the

religious leaders becoming jealous of the popularity or frightened that he might

somehow usurp their power?

Whatever their motive, they d= ecided to publically challenge and thereby humiliate him

and his followers.

Instead, Jesus turned the que= stion around, quoting the prophet Isaiah; He said to them,

‘Isaiah prophesied rightly about you hypocrites, as it is written, “This peop= le

honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; ⁷in vain do they worship <= /p>

me, teaching human precepts as doctrines.” ⁸You abandon the commandment of

God and hold= to human tradition.’

<= /o:p>

After the encounter, he calls= the people together and teaches the lesson that “it is from

within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come.”

Like James, he realizes that = it is in the encounter of and power of words, that the

intentions of actions are often revealed.

In the early Christian Church= as in all human encounters, disagreements arose. There is

nothing wrong with seeing things differently and discussing those differences.

Or as one wise person once sa= id, “If everybody in a group is thinking the same thing, it’s

the same as if nobody is thinking as all. Only when there are differences of

opinion do we have to think. The trouble so often is we find thinking such hard

work.” (J. Edward Carothers, “Caring for the World,” p.129)

James is a reminder to think = first by listening first, and to then speak and remain calm. It

is practical advice for how to put the moral imperative, “love your neig= hbor as

yourself” into action.

Similar to the popular phrase of se= ek first to understand and then to be understood. Not

an easy task. It never has been, but it is essential; for others will ultimate= ly judge

our character and faithfulness on how we put what we say into actions.

<= /o:p>

Or as Ralph Waldo Emerson sai= d back in the 19^th century, “Go put your creed into your

deed. Wh= at you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

That doesn’t mean we don’t allow folks to qualify what they say or learn that the way

they say something may be coming off in a way they may not, or we hope not,

have intended.

Mother Teresa reminded us of that when she taught, “Keep in mind that= our community

is not composed of those who are already saints, but of those who are trying t= o

become saints. Therefore let us be extremely patient with each other's faults and =

failures.”

<= /o:p>

We are all on a journey of fa= ith, one that has been described in our tradition as moving on

toward being made perfect in love. The patience and waiting we need to learn to

show is both for others and for ourselves.

<= /o:p>

We live in a world whose vocabulary seems to be so much more reliant on the negative,

fear provoking, condemnations of whole groups of other people and individuals. <= /p>

It’s a very difficult t= ask to try to live your life in a way that speaks and shows hope; that

encourages, rather than condemns; and, that becomes an expression of love.

When Rabbi Joseph Telushkin lectures and tries to get his listeners to = think about the

power of words, he often = starts by asking them if they “can go twenty-four hours without saying any unkind wor= ds about, or to, anybody.” Most respond with “no.”

He then asks them to try it, = not purposely changing their ways, but writing down every

negative thing they say about someone who isn’t there. Most “are very

disappointed in the results,” he says.

It is in the seeing ourselves= and hearing ourselves, that we can begin to change the

direction we are going. Telushkin wrote: “With the = tongue one can commit

numerous great and mighty transgressions… but, with the tongue, one can also perform limitless = acts of virtue.”

<= /o:p>

He was reminded of this by an encounter between his wife and their daughters. His then

five year old, Naomi “was in a weepy mood, and in a moment of frustration,” his

wife, Dvorah yelled, “I hate it when you keep c= rying over nothing! It hurts my

ears. If you can’t stop crying, I will have to leave you at home!”

The next morning at breakfast= , Shira, their 3 year old started crying. “Naomi stuffer both

index fingers in her ears, and screamed at her sister: ‘I hate it when you = cry! It

hurts my ears. If you have to cry, go into the other room.’”

Dvorah was dumbstruck. Naomi had exactly replicated her impatient tone, her chidin= g,

even some of her words.”

She then “went over to = Shira, sat her on her lap, and said, ‘MommyR= 17;s sorry she forgot to

wait for you to add the blueberries to the pancakes. I never want to make you cr= y.

I’m ju= st going to sit by you until all baby Shira’s tears go away.’”

She started taking this kind = of approach with both Naomi and Shira from that po= int on

and within several weeks, she walked in on another encounter between Naomi

and Shira.

Their son, two year old Benja= min, had kicked Shira and she began to wail. “= This time

Naomi sat do= wn beside her hurt sister and said comfortingly, ‘It= ’s okay, Shira, No

more crying. I’m going to sit right here for the whole night and wait for = you to

stop.”

Be quick to listen, to oursel= ves and others, Hurry, for there’s so much we need to get to

together; but also, be patient and wait, it’s in those moments of patience that= we

discover our true selves and each other.

<= /o:p>

It’s in the patience th= at we find the room to cast off anger and frustration and make room

for the hope and love that is so desperately needed. Amen.