Sermon: Coming Home
September 7
Romans 13:8-14 & = Matthew 18:15-20
by the Reverend Steve Clunn
In our culture, the First Sun= day after Labor Day (or another Sunday early in September),
is known by = many names in the life of the church: Rally Day, Home Coming
Sunday, Gath= ering Sunday… whatever. They all pretty much mean the same
thing: the start-up of fall programming and hopefully, everybody coming back,
refocusing a= nd recommitting themselves to the life and ministry of the church.
I wish somebody could explain= to me why, when this is such an important Sunday in the
life, or the re-enlivening of the church; why do the folks who developed the
lectionary readings and Sunday School curriculum start September off with
readings tha= t deal with conflict among church members?
I’m not sure if anyone = has ever made the connection. It’s not something we clergy get
together and= talk about; but if we did and I were to ask the question “what is the
one thing in= the life of any church you have ever served that has caused you more
anxiety, frustration and sadness… the one thing that your training and educati= on
didn’t prepare you for?
Anyone want to venture a gues= s what they would answer? Yep, my hunch is that they
would, almost unanimously, say that it was the way people treated each other
within the l= ife of the church.
And if we were getting really honest with ourselves and others, we’d talk about the times,
like everyone else, when we’d risen above it and when we’ve also been the cau= se
of conflict.=
Whatever thoughts are running through your minds right now, hold on to them for a few
and let me e= xplain a little bit about why I think all of us struggle with
relationship= s in the very places where relationships are central to who we are and
what we do &= #8211; like the church.
I’m now 47 years old an= d when someone says the word “home,” this (projection) is first
place I think about. It’s funny, when I think of people, I think of Mary Lynn and <= /p>
our children= , but when I think a structure, I think of 315 Central Ave., Ocean City,
New Jersey.<= /p>
In the spring and summer of 1= 985, between College and Seminary, in an effort to earn
and save mon= ey for Seminary; Mary Lynn, Andrew and I lived with my parents.
This made our infant son the 7th generation to live under that roof. It’s the Clunn
homestead.
As I mentioned with the child= ren this morning, when my brother Rich and Kelly took
over the hou= se, none of us was completely prepared for what we knew was
inevitable&#= 8230; they would make changes to make the place their home. My mom,
however, has= and continues to be, the most ill prepared.
I remember the phone call lik= e it was yesterday, “Do you know what Rich and Kelly have
done now?= 221; “No mom,” I replied, “what did they do now?”
“They’ve destroye= d my rose bushes,” came the tearful answer. “What do you mean by
‘destr= oyed?’” I asked. “Well,” she said, “those roses always bloomed on your
father’= ;s and my anniversary. They were a gift from your father, you know, and
they’v= e cut them down to the ground… they’ve killed them.”
Please understand that it wasn’t that I didn’t care about my mother’s rose plight. = It was
simply that = this was about the fifth or sixth catastrophe that my mother had called
me about sin= ce Rich and Kelly moved in and she moved to the back upstairs
apartment.
My mom and I talked for a whi= le longer and during the conversation she let slip that they
referred to = what they had done as pruning. Now, I had seen how overgrown,
unkempt and unhealthy those rose bushes had become. But to my mom, this was
taken as an assault on my dad’s memory and the memory of their relationship.
After a little more questioni= ng, I discovered they had indeed been pruned back severely,
but no where’s near being cut down to the ground. I believe I ended my side = of
mediating the Clunn family version of “the war of the roses” with; “Mom, they’re
trying to do= what they think is best; their trying to make this their home… you
and Rich nee= d to communicate better.
By the way, it took two seaso= ns, but the roses are back, healthier, and blooming in early
June like al= ways.
Later on I called Rich to fin= d out his side of this one. He told me about how bad they had
gotten; how he knew they were important to mom; and, if he had tried to talk to
her about th= em, as unreasonable as she has been about so many other things, she
“would= have fought him tooth and nail on it.”
“Rich,” I said wi= th some exasperation in my voice, “you and mom need to work on your
communication skills. Just because she’s being unreasonable, doesn’t mean you=
have to be. = If you knew this was going to be upsetting for her, you needed to
bring her in= on the conversation before it was done.”
It’s easy to pontificat= e when you’re five hours away and can always hang up after the
conversation= and forget about it.
I loved it when I was in Semi= nary and could look out of my apartment window from my
desk at the = kids playing on the playground.
I would often see Andrew and = his good friend, Ben, get into an argument over a toy
or a swing, = or some other friend. At first, I would get up and run outside to try to
referee – my least favorite job as a parent, b= ut one I’ve never been very good at ignoring and letting my kids try to = work things out first.
Often, by the time I got out = there, they had already worked it out and were ready to get
back at play= ing together. Of course I had to frustrate them by talking to them
about what happened and why they needed to play nice.
What I didn’t get, at t= he time, was that they were playing nice. They knew they weren’t
always going= to agree, but they were the best of friends and good playmates.
As kids, they instinctually s= eemed to know something that we adults too quickly forget;
they needed = each other and maintaining the relationship was far more important
than the lit= tle things that sometimes tested their friendship and ability to play
together.
Both Jesus in the case of the disciples and his followers, and Paul in the case of the early
church, seem= ed to have to spend a lot of time on internal disputes.
I’m always aware of the= fact that Paul wrote some of our most precious words about love
in 1 Corinth= ians, out of the internal conflicts that were going on within that
church. Is i= t any wonder that in Romans he talks about love being the fulfilling of
the law? A reference to Jesus’ “Great Commandment.”
Jesus, living in a time and p= lace where community was everything… belonging,
employment, survival, thriving. He too knew of the disputes that often arose
within the community. He offers a method for trying to deal with disputes and
maintain and restoring relationships.
What’s interesting to m= e is that if things can’t be worked out and someone has to be
removed from= the community, he tells them to treat them “as a Gentile or Tax
Collector.&#= 8221; But no one ever really takes the time to remind us how Jesus treated
Gentiles and= Tax Collectors.” It seems to me, with a lot more dignity and care
than people = are most typically treated when they are seen an outsider or other.
Now back to the present. Here= we are on “Homecoming Sunday” and I’m very much
aware of the= fact that people are being invited home and some of the furniture has
been moved; = not removed, but moved in a way.
My initial gut reaction is si= mply this; I really don’t care about pews… not nearly as much
as I do abou= t how we all treat each other as we talk about pews.
More importantly than pews, w= e have a lot to talk about in terms of our faith and how we
might celebr= ate and live out God’s gracious presence in our lives and ministry
together.
So as we begin this new progr= amming year, I have just a few words of advice for any
home coming, and new journey together:
Let’s keep the importan= ce of healthy relationships at the center of what we do together
and out into= the community and world.
Let’s keep reminding ourselves of Wesley’s “Simple Rules” for faithful living; “Do
Good, Do No = Harm, and Stay in Love With God.”
And finally, if you are a par= t of the life of the church now, remember that one of the
greatest gif= ts you can ever give to someone who is new and possibly feeling a bit
on the outsi= de, is to make room for their thoughts, their ideas, and the gifts they
have to offe= r to the community.
Make more than room at the table… make room in your hearts… so much so that the
message, the= feeling everyone gets when we come together is that this is like
what coming = home can feel like! Amen.