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These should bring a smile to your face!!
They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for
church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in
church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The
Fasting &Prayer Conference includes
meals.
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The
sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
"Searching for
Jesus."
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Our
youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the
King.
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Ladies,
don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The
peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been c anceled due to a
conflict.
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Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is
hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let
worry kill you off - let the Church
help.
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Miss
Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For
those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs
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Next
Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help
they can
get.
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The
Rector will preach his farewell message after
which the choir will
sing: "Break Forth Int o
Joy."
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Irving
Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends
a friendship that began in their school
days.
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A
bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music
will follow.
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At
the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new
choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
members and to the
deterioration of some older
ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles
and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.
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Please
place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person you
want
remembered.
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The
church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and
medication to
follow.
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The
ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This
evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing
in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to
sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is
done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake
breakfast next
Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem
Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side
entrance.
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The
Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
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