Bishop Jung’s Spiritual Journey -
Reflections on Renewal
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Note: The Council of Bishops invites each Bishop to take a renewal leave every
quadrennial. Bishop Hee-Soo Jung of the Northern Illinois Conference was on renewal leave in Fall, 2008 and here shares some experiences and reflections on that leave.
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Living the renewal spirit and Sabbath has been a blessing for my life and Episcopal journey. I journeyed to Korea for my three-month renewal leave after the busy connectional ministry in the United Methodist Church.
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 It was wonderful to be back with my siblings and with old friends with whom I learned and labored in my youth. It was especially important to be with my mother who now lives with my older brother and still does some gardening and farming. They were concerned about healthy living and global peace as we are in the United States. We talked about what the Bishop actually does. My mother said that her son is doing greater things than you can imagine. It was complementary remark, yet it humbles. In reality, few persons are either as great or as terrible as they are pictured by others. Many Methodist friends in Korea shared their concern about violence and war. Together over many hours we struggled to discern how to serve the world in the name of Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.
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From Korea I traveled to Bangkok, Thailand with Dr. Philip and Elaine Amerson of Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary for a week’s visit to United Methodist missionary work in Thailand. Dr. Jong Sung Kim, from the General Board of Global Ministry, arranged our trip to explore partnership for theological education in Southeast Asia. It was a transforming experience for us to visit a small village, where Methodists who had gathered to share their stories with us. In the midst of this discussion, they asked us to pray for their son-in-law who was sick and neighbors who were on their deathbeds. We touched by those and asked for healing and restoration. I have been blessed to meet many local leaders and worship with them. In last day of our visit, Bishop Zothan Mawia from Myanmar joined us. We had planned to visit his country for mission support. But it was the day of the huge social protest of Buddhist Monks and I was not allowed to travel there with him. Thailand is a beautiful mission field and we can be a partner with the Korean Methodist Church there in evangelism and transformation.
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I was hosted by Yonsei University Graduate School for my renewal leave. I taught a seminar in Comparative Religions. It was wonderful to be with young theologians and pastors while my renewal and sabbatical journey progressed. Yonsei University is one of the largest Protestant Universities in Seoul and actively develops global leaders in many professional fields. The Theology department had invited me to stay and live together with faculty and students. During October I had a visit from my brother Tom Garnhart from Wisconsin. Later my wife, Im joined me and we traveled to the mountains and various historic places. Unpacking many old memories together with Im was an important time for my renewal journey.
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In November I returned to the United States for a brief time. I attended the extended cabinet convocation along with district superintendent and staff from Northern Illinois and the Council of Bishops fall meeting.
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I returned to Yonsei University for continued renewal and depth readings and meditation. I was blessed by the hospitality of the faculty and students. My time of spiritual reflection focused on spirituality in a global context and moving more deeply into the heart of God.
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For two weekends I went up to the Prayer Mountain for retreat and prayer. I prayed hard to receive the direction and guidance for my future journey. I felt myself deepening in God’s arms and yet I could not grasp the clarity I wish to have. I dived into a dark night of my soul. A “Dark Night” is not an uncommon experience for those who are deeply devoted to God. In Prayer Mountain, I went from station to station, searching for light, for an inspiration, and I found nothing, absolutely nothing. I knocked on the door. I waited and received no answer, not the least encouragement.
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I remembered Thomas Merton’s famous prayer that captures some of the Dark Night:
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.... you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.” I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly the scripture and listen again with deep hunger of the soul journey.
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After the wresting of several days, peace was restored in my heart. I found myself enveloped in a profound power and nurture of God and no matter how I turned and tossed; I knew I could stay in my dear Lord ever. We human beings tend to see ourselves as either better than we really are, or worse than we really are. Only God knows the truth, and seeing that truth about ourselves is one of the great accomplishments of the Dark Nights.
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There were a few times I found myself preaching for Korean brothers and sisters, celebrating the 120th anniversary of the Methodist Theological Seminary and General Conference of the Korean Methodist Church. I was there for connecting and representing the United Methodist Church as a Bishop and the meeting with the global church leaders on behalf of The UMC. The Korean church is a hospitable, growing, dynamic, humble, mission-minded, and gospel preaching church.
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In the midst of all of this I spent time with my mother who is now 83 years old. My mother made sure I had three square meals everyday and also that I ate everything in balance. Vegetables were not my favorite food group and I don’t much care for them. What I learned from her again was the importance of eating a balanced diet and honoring my physical body's nutritional needs. I appreciate much today how my mother made sure I never took anything for granted. Any small gesture was to be responded to promptly with a thank-you. Politeness and good manners were expected always. I learned from her the simple truth of gratitude and blessings.
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I appreciate the opportunity to take my quadrennial renewal leave this past fall and I thank the cabinet and the Conference Committee on Episcopacy who helped me to take a renewal leave before the end of this quadrennium. I am deeply grateful for the privilege of living and serving among you, the United Methodists of Northern Illinois - as your Bishop.
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