"Warning Labels"

08-19-07

 

Have any of your ever removed the warning label from a mattress? My mattresses at home have a tag that clearly says "Do not remove under penalty of law." My heart pounds every time I rip one off. I feel like a criminal. Well, this week I discovered the story behind the warning labels on mattresses. Back in the early 1900’s, mattresses often contained a host of vermin and disease-carrying materials. To protect consumers, the government required dealers to post tags on their mattresses listing the contents. Later, the Feds added a warning to the content tag with the ominous message, "Do not remove under penalty of law," in big, black letters.

The government requirements may have deterred deceptive mattress dealers, but for years it has confused consumers who didn't know that the threat wasn't meant for them. Confronted by fear of prosecution, consumers all over the world have left the tags on their mattresses. Recently, the Feds addressed the misunderstanding by changing the label to: "This tag may not be removed except by the consumer."

In a society full of frivolous lawsuits, companies can’t be too careful. To protect themselves from lawsuits, most companies slap common-sense warnings on their products. This has given birth to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label. What I find funny is they probably have put such labels on their products, because someone has actually tried to do some of the things they warn against. Here are some of my favorites:

A label on a baby stroller warns: "Remove child before folding."

A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."

A cartridge for a laser printer says: "Do not eat toner."

A 13inch wheel on a wheelbarrow reads: "Not intended for highway use."

An Auto-Shade Windshield Visor warns: "Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting the ignition."

A box of birthday candles says: "Do not use soft wax as ear plugs or any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity." Can you imagine the singing being so bad, that uncle Fred grabs a couple of candles and sticks them in his ears?


The fifth chapter of Isaiah begins with a warning label...and it is a bit wacky. It is a warning in the form of a love-song, sung by the prophet Isaiah. The song tells of God and God’s vineyard. Now for many of us, the very word 'vineyard' has a romantic glow. It breathes into the air a sense of mildly exotic holidays, of sunny evenings sampling the local produce, of an apparently leisured and gracious way of life. We bring back bottles of wine not only to entertain our guests but to tactfully show off our intimate knowledge of secluded corners of Oregon or California, or France. It all seems a long way from the hard business of agriculture in our own country. But, of course in Israel, vineyards are simply working farms where people are gaining a living from the soil. Everybody likes the result; but the farmers are under no illusions about how much effort it takes to get it right, or how easy it is to get it wrong. I can imagine though that God’s vineyard is a fertile and sweet place.


"My beloved had a vineyard on a very fertile hill," sings Isaiah. "He dug it and cleared it of stones, and planted it with choice vines." God built a watchtower in it, and hewed out a wine vat. God "expected it to yield grapes, but it yielded wild grapes" (Isaiah 5:1-2). The Lord did everything he could to prepare the vineyard for a crop of good grapes, but it produced only bad fruit (NIV). That so stinks! As a brown thumb person who dreams of greenness in my life, I know the feeling of trying everything I know to produce a healthy plant. I give it good soil, water, light, food, some classical music, tell it jokes, and give it a smile, and it doesn’t produce anything that looks remotely like what it is supposd to be. It stinks.


God is unhappy with the outcome of God’s crop, so God brings a legal case to the people of Judah. "Judge between me and my vineyard," says the Lord. "What more was there to do for my vineyard that I have not done in it? I’ve loved it, I’ve guided it, I’ve watered it, I’ve protected it, I’ve shone upon it, I’ve planted it in a fertile land. When I expected it to yield grapes, why did it yield wild, inedible, rotten grapes?" (vv. 3-4). The Lord followed all the proper vineyard procedures, but still got bad fruit. So God asks the people of Judah to settle the case and determine who is to blame. Are the wild grapes the fault of God, or the fault of the vineyard? Are they the fault of the manufacturer, or the fault of the customer? If Fred has to go to the emergency room to have a birthday candle extricated from his ear, we have to blame Fred, not the candle company. If Lindsay steps on a 12-inch rack for compact disks, while hanging a poster of her favorite movie star and promptly falls on her head, we have to blame her for not obeying the warning label that was prominently placed on the CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder." In the case of the bad fruit in God’s vineyard, the same is true: The fault lies not with God’s agricultural practices, but with the vineyard itself. 



In case you’re not quite sure, this passage really has nothing to do with vineyards, and everything to do with the behavior of the people of Israel. "For the vineyard of the LORD is actually the house of Israel, and the people of Judah are God’s vines; God expected compassionate and wise action. God expected sweet, nourishing fruit. God expected justice, but saw bloodshed; righteousness, but heard a cry!" (v. 7). Although the people of Israel and Judah were planted and watered properly, they turned into bad fruit. Instead of practicing justice and righteousness, they fell into violence and dishonesty. Instead of growing into the good people God intended them to be, they turned into wild and unruly, self-serving people.


Some hearing Isaiah’s love-song warning, still will not heed the warning labels. They won’t bother listening, think they can figure it out on their own, will have lapses in judgment, and/or won’t take the warning seriously. How many times must a child hear, "you’ll poke your eye out with those," before the child will stop running with scissors? The people of Israel failed to be what they were created to be. They were not fruitful, faithful, activists, honest, giving, self-aware, or other aware for that matter.


Of course it is easier to sue someone after the damage is done. It is easier to blame our neighbors, our spouses, our children, our parents, our jobs, our doctors, or God for why we make some of the choices we do. There is always someone or something else to blame. The sidewalk was too uneven, the coffee too hot, the boss is too domineering, the children are too demanding, the dog ate my homework, the knife was too sharp, the accelerator was too sensitive, the computer is stupid. Seriously, how often when we can’t figure something out do we throw up our hands and say, "this is stupid!" or "You stupid computer, do what you are supposed to!" We have become such a sue-happy nation that Bob Dorigo-Jones, president of Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, reports that the Girl Scouts of Metro Detroit now have to sell 36,00 boxes of cookies simply to pay for insurance coverage-just in case they are sued. Why do people sue the Girl Scouts? Because "they were in my way when I tried to go into the store" or maybe "my cookies were stale!"


I think this parable points to a couple of deep theological issues; perhaps, the most critical one being accountability. Yes, there it is, the "a" word that we demand, but don’t always want to live. Why is so difficult to admit that we make dumb choices sometimes? Why is it so difficult to follow the warning labels? Why when we are equipped with everything we need to live into the people we were created to be, do we struggle so much to do so? Why is our Christian faith full of holes? I suspect there are probably lots of reasons. I suspect we wouldn’t need many ministries in this church and world if we already had everything all together. Isaiah’s warning tells us, when we are dismembered, emotionally injured, face death, produce rotten situations and fruit, based on our choices, that we can’t keep blaming everyone and everything else around us.


Now I don’t want you to hear that we control everything that happens to us. I don’t believe that. We don’t control the choices of others. We don’t control natural laws. We don’t control random flaws and flukes, but we do have control of our actions. We can choose to read instructions and labels. We can choose to read scripture. We can choose to ask important questions and to pray. We can choose to be patient and treat others with respect. We can choose to examine our feelings and our actions. We can choose to work for justice, be a voice for the voiceless, participate in the messy issues of our lives and communities. We can choose to share our resources. We can choose to trust someone or some process, or something. We can choose to claim our actions and feelings as our own, whether appropriate or questionable, and work with them. We can choose to be fruitful…the kind of fruitfulness that nourishes, and has enough to it that the sweetness drips on everything we touch. I’m talking about the kind of fruitfulness that believes we serve a God of abundance and allows us to live lives of abundance. I’m talking about the fruitfulness that has the courage to admit when we have made poor choices and seeks to made amends. I’m talking about the fruitfulness that mirrors Christ’s love in the world. I’m hoping that most of us have experience such fruitfulness and has a sense of what that is.


We always have a choice. If someone has a gun to our head, we can choose to cooperate or choose not to. No matter what the choices, even if all of them are rotten choices, God helps guide us toward the best decisions. God will help prop the vine toward the sun, make sure it has the water and soil that it needs. I hope that we choose right relationship with God and neighbor. Anything else is going to hurt us. That’s a warning label in need of some attention.


Thanks be to God. Amen

 

Illustrations from a Homiletics article by the same title, "Warning Labels". Article found in the July-August 2007 edition of Homiletics periodical.

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