"You say Hello, I Say Good-bye"¹

05-04-08

I want to talk about saying good-bye. No worries, I’m not actually saying good-bye. I want to talk about the concept of good-byes.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it can be really difficult to say good-bye? Some of us have a downright awful time bringing closure to our visits. Some of us really like to chat. Most of us really value the presence of a good friend or family around us. That is why I really resonate with the parable I’m about to tell you. This is the story of Richard Jones. Richard Jones was a young minister straight out of seminary and assigned to his first parish. Well, one day he decided to go call on some members of his church. He chatted with them for a while, drank two cups of coffee, then braced himself for his good-bye: "Well," he said politely, "I think I better be going now."  But the lady of the house said: "Oh no! Rev. Jones, can't you really stay a little longer?" And never one to lie, Richard replied, "Oh well, I guess I could stay a little longer."

So he stayed.  He drank eleven cups of coffee. By now night was falling.   He rose again. "Well, now," he said shyly, "I think I really ..." Can't you stay longer?" the lady said sweetly, "Why can't you join us for supper?" Never one to lie, he said, "O well, I guess I could stay..." Good, my husband will be delighted." So they had supper. After supper he started to excuse himself again, but the lady of the house showed him photographs from a recent road trip.  By 8:30 he had examined seventy-one photos. He stood to leave. "I have an early morning tomorrow, and I really must go now," he pleaded. When in fact he was to start his vacation the next day and his desire to go fishing in the morning, was all that pressing. "It's only half-past-eight, do you have anything to do?" Never one to lie, he admitted, "Nothing."

So he stayed the rest of the evening drinking coffee and looking at photographs.  It got too late to drive home so they invited him to sleep on the couch. In the days that followed the preacher lived his entire time in the drawing room drinking coffee and staring at photographs, but the lack of air and exercise began to take its toll on his health.  Eventually they carried him upstairs in a raging delirium of fever. At times he would start up from his bed and shriek: "Well, I think I..." and then would fall back on his pillow with a horrible gasp. At other times he would leap up and cry: "Another cup of coffee and more photographs!" After a month of agony, on the last day of his vacation, he died.  They say that when the last moment came, he sat up in bed with a beautiful smile of confidence on his face and said: "Well, the angels are calling me; I'm afraid I really must go now. Good-bye!"²

We've said good-byes in our life and some were easier than other. Our child is off to class on his first day of school. We wonder where the years went. But there he is a kid who one moment was fighting with his brother and the next going off to Southern Oregon University. So we stand bravely in the driveway. Mom raises her hand and says, "You'll be home next week-end, right?" And they both say good bye.

Around the corner, two people come to say good bye. Their relationship just isn't going anywhere. They spend most of their time together, but as the weeks become seasons, they realize the relationship isn’t what it used to be. The love isn’t there as it once was. It’s time to say good bye. Not just farewell to the movies and lunches and shopping and games, but really good bye; to a presence and a quality that will never completely be recovered.

Saying good bye can be really difficult. Ascension Sunday is a time to think about the movement from presence to absence. It’s a frightening shift. Something deep down in us resists the move from presence to absence.  When someone is present to us, our space is filled, we are not alone. There is conversation and communion. There is another energy to interact with. When someone leaves us, there sometimes comes crisis.  Absence can mean silence--lonely, gaping silence.

One thing most of us have learned throughout our lives is that we had better get accustomed to bidding farewell. Life is a series of leavings and takings, movement from presence to absence. Carly Simon sings, "Nobody ever stays in one place anymore…You say hello, but I say good-bye."

You know, we honestly need God when it comes to hellos and good-byes.  Our faith used to be embodied in words like the English "good-bye". The early versions of this phrase was "God be with ye", and was later shortened to "God be wi’ ye". Eventually it became "good bye". This commonly used phrase implies that when we part--in that moment between here and not here, between presence and absence--we'd best give someone to God when we can no longer hold them ourselves. Good-bye means "God be with you".

In this morning’s text from Acts we find a group of disciples hearing a good-bye from the Leader who it seemed only months before had said hello. Jesus has finished his mission on earth and now it is time for him to leave. The story wasn't supposed to go like this. Everything within the disciples, everything they had been taught, had convinced them that Jesus was supposed to stay. The Messiah they knew was to reign on earth. They had repeated time and again the phrase, "Thy will be done on earth." Their expectations were that God’s will was manifest in the work and teachings of Jesus Christ. What other significance could there be for Christ’s resurrection?

Their understanding is incomplete, and Jesus leaves them gawking toward heaven, with tears in their eyes, watching their last hope for saving the world leave on a cloud.  Jesus, who had instructed his disciples for the past 40 days, just "floats" out of their lives as mysteriously as he had entered them. It is a difficult goodbye. Jesus is no longer in their presence.

Taking leave, sending off a loved one, saying good bye is difficult. But it is an unavoidable reality of life and, more than that, it seems to be necessary for a person's growth and maturing. Think of it this way, A baby's umbilical cord has to be severed so that the baby can become an independent organism. At some point, we send our children off on their first day of school, and it is the beginning of a process of separation and growth toward independence and maturity. As we journey from one stage of life to the next, from birth to infancy, to adolescence to adulthood, to mature adulthood, and then to the ultimate homecoming the common link between each of the stages is a transition. Each of these times of transition challenges us to grow in our faith. It takes a tremendous amount of faith and trust in our child to be able to send him or her off on that first school day. It takes faith on the part of the child too.

Jesus' good-bye to his disciples meant that he believed in them. He believed that they were ready for the next phase of spiritual growth. Jesus, too, knew that good-byes and transitions are difficult. And yet He also knew they were ready for that next phase of spiritual maturity: baptism into the Holy Spirit. Those disciples were to receive the very same Spirit that was in Jesus himself. Jesus was to live on within the community of his followers through God's Spirit. It was the disciples turn to share the Good News of God’s love.

So, in essence, Jesus' good-bye turned out to be God's big hello! The real story goes like this: God never left, never moved, never said farewell. God simply made an equal exchange. God had a special plan. Right in the middle of our lesson from Acts is these words:

...when the Holy Spirit comes upon you,
you will be filled with power,
and you will be witnesses for me in Jerusalem
and in all of Judea and Samaria,
and to the ends of the earth,"

Far from saying goodbye, God is saying hello in a big way Jesus leaving is not absent, but rather more fully present. The exciting part of this story for me is that God is no longer contained to a single person in single location on planet earth. God becomes the indwelling principle power within each of those disciples, and the Spirit is the indwelling principle of power that continues to work in our lives today. By coming into our very lives, God wants to work through us, giving us the power to live out our faith, to share the Good News, and to grow in our relationships. The responsibility is now shared by the entire community.

Also, because God says hello with the giving of the Spirit, it means that we can say goodbye. We can say God be with you to our attempts to cling to the past, to cling to people, to structures, to old ways of thinking and doing, and even to our comfort zones. We can be open to God’s Spirit as the Spirit moves among us to give us greater mission, clearer vision, and the power to do what we've never done before. God’s Spirit also heals, calms, and renews in the midst of crises. And as we follow the lead of God's Spirit we may also have to risk walking down new paths at times.

God has granted us the Spirit of Jesus and that means that we are filled with power to follow in the disciple’s footsteps--to be in joyful mission to a hurting world. In the midst of our current crises and periods of transition, let us on this day embrace and celebrate God's big hello, the giving of God's Spirit and courage. For we are the people of God empowered by the Spirit of Jesus. Thanks be to God Amen.