An open letter, from the open heart, of the founder of BUMP...

Dear Friends in Christ:

BUMP (Bereaved United Methodist Parents) is an e-list for parents who have suffered the death of a child of any age. The acronym 'BUMP' was chosen simply because it is easy to remember. I started BUMP on September 27, 2002, with help from United Methodist Communications and encouragement from members of UM Connect (an e-list for UM webmasters).

BUMP founder. My name is Bonnie and my son, my firstborn child, was 22 years old when he disappeared under mysterious circumstances on New Year's Eve of 1999. His body was found on March 26, 2000. His death is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life. During the time he was missing and even after his body was found, I was an empty shell. I was searching for my son; I was searching for answers. I guess I still am (searching).

Most church congregations fall short when it comes to tending to the grieving soul and, as a bereaved parent, I know there is no greater pain than losing a child. It (the pain) can make you lose faith. That is one reason why I started BUMP. I wanted to connect with bereaved parents from my own denomination, so that we can offer support to each other, share our stories – good and bad - and strengthen each other through prayer.

Another reason I created BUMP is that, in reaching out to others who mourn, I’ve found a bit of healing for my own spirit. I have reconciled myself to the fact that I shall never “get over” my son’s death – no matter how strongly those who do not know about losing a child pressure me to do so.

I am a member of the New Lebanon United Methodist Church in Ohio, serving as Worship Chair, Webmaster and Friend in Christ to all. It is my hope that BUMP might serve as an example of God's compassion and love for those who grieve – in the United Methodist Church and the world.

Peace,
Bonnie

P.S. I have two other children and they were changed by their brother's death, too. My younger son came to me recently and we talked about Leon's death and how to go on with life in the absence of a loved. I showed him BUMP, as an example of God's grace in helping me heal. My son then asked me, "Does the church have BUMS?", to which I replied, "Yes, I started BUMP through the church." "No, Mom. BUMS - Bereaved United Methodist Siblings", he said. I laughed. I hadn't thought of that, but could see the need for that type of ministry. I lost one brother in Vietnam in 1967, a second brother to suicide in 1988, and I still mourn their passing. So, after running the idea by BUMP and my church, BUMS was created. BUMP and the New Lebanon UMC embrace BUMS, and we hope that those siblings who join this e-group will find some comfort there. God bless.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." - Matthew 5:4

There are many resources on grieving on the Internet and I have included a few on the NLUMC home page, under the Grief Resources Page. There are also links on the NLUMC page for joining BUMP or BUMS, and links to a Memorial Page, called BUMP Angels, and a page named BUMPoems, featuring original poetry on the topic of grief.
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