 My name is Cindy* and I live in the House of Hope. I have been in the New Beginnings program for six months. My life has been a series of abuses. As a child I had my physical needs met by my parents, but emotionally I was abused. I was an object, a possession that they owned, I wasn’t loved. I wasn’t held, hugged, or encouraged. My worth was based on how well I behaved, how well I did chores, how good my grades were, and how talented I was rather than being accepted unconditionally. I was punished severely for my shortcomings. As an only child I was very lonely. As the daughter of a minister, I was always on exhibition. One day, when I was about 12, a friend of my father sexually molested me. I was terrified and couldn’t tell my parents because they would blame me. I left home as soon as I could get away. I got into a relationship that left me pregnant and alone. I had the baby, a precious little girl, then put her up for adoption with a family that would love her and care for her. Then I met Bill. He seemed perfect. It was all that I dreamed of-a husband, a home, love. But, after the wedding reality hit. Again I found myself performing so that I would be accepted. If I didn’t measure up, he beat me, he insulted me, and he threatened me. I found myself living in fear. I wanted desperately to escape and had made tentative plans to do so. When I found out I was again pregnant, Bill was thrilled at the idea of becoming a father. He started treating me a little better-until after our daughter was born. Again he became verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to me. Now it seemed impossible for me to leave because I had my daughter to care for also. Where would I go? What would I do? Finally, with the help of a friend, I was able to get away from him and got a divorce. I’m still trying to figure out why I am attracted men who turn out to be abusive. I had another devastating marriage and then a very hurtful relationship with still another abusive man. When I left that relationship, I ended up in a shelter for victims of domestic violence. It was then that I decided that it was up to me to break the cycle of abuse. I wanted to get on my own and make something of the rest of my life. That’s when a staff member told me about the New Beginnings program at NUMC. I contacted the program coordinator, applied, was interviewed and accepted into the program. So far I have been able to work through the first three phases of the program and now I’m in the last phase-phase four-where I’m preparing to go on my own. It’s not been easy. Living with other women and children is challenging and my room is small. I’ve had a lot of counseling and attended many group sessions. I’ve become involved with a church and have found a supportive family of Christians to help and encourage me. I now have a good job and I’m finally getting out of debt. I have a savings account and I’m saving money for a deposit on an apartment. I couldn’t have gone this far without help from the New Beginnings program and staff. Here I’ve found unconditional love and acceptance. When I was grieving the lack of love in my past, the director gave me not only encouragement, but a precious teddy bear that she said would love me no matter what. I often hug my bear and it hugs me back and I take pleasure in the love it represents. In a few of months I plan to be on my own, but another needy, hurting woman will take my place and then in my prayers, I will continue to thank God for all the help and encouragement I’ve received from NUMC and ask for his continued blessings for the staff and residents of the Houses of Hope and Faith. *(All names changed to protect identity) ^back to the top  Brenda is a 23-year-old Navajo from St. Michaels, Arizona. She has three small children and is a survivor of domestic violence. For four years Brenda was a victim. Four months ago she arrived at New Beginnings Program and she now feels she has the ability to face her concerns, to make decisions and to set goals for her future. This is her story. The New Beginnings Program has become Brenda's temporary home. She says "there is no place like home, a place where you can enjoy yourself without fear of rejection." She says that everyone here wants her to understand the importance of "getting out of isolation and being free of physical, emotional and sexual abuse." Because of this support, she has made some hard choices. She says that "I choose to give myself another try at school and I’ll try to feel more secure while being responsible and independent. Over the past four months, I’ve improved my parenting skills; I’ve taken care of my children; I’ve improved my self-esteem through counseling and I’ve enrolled in college." With the help of the New Beginnings staff, "I’ve pushed myself this far and have completed this program with pride and dignity. Where else could you find a home that provides for all you needs?" "Four months ago I made a choice to start over. Through group sessions, parenting classes, house meetings, talking circles and individual counseling I have learned more about living independently and responsibly. If I can do it, others can also complete this program." ^back to the top  Darlene and her two children came to New Beginnings Program July 19, 1999. This is her story. "I was born and raised in Shiprock, NM, on the reservation. I was raised traditionally. My grandparents taught us to have a healthy family and with Ke (extended family). Harvesting a healthy family begins with love and Ke at home. If love and Ke live at home then the family can blossom for the enrichment of the community. While in the New Beginnings Program I have received individual counseling, group therapy and parenting class and educational training. I have written a poem of how I feel."
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