"Halos & Horns"

by Helen Bickett

(Education Committee Chair of the Malden UMC)

[June, 2000]

With 9 grandchildren on our family tree, just keeDing track of birth dates has been quite a feat, but four years ago was the beginning of a real wake-up call. That was when the oldest of the nine graduated from grade school. This year'she graduates from high school and her sister graduates from grade school. I'll be able to remember, if necessary, since it is the year 2000.

College, high school and grade school graduations have all been accepted as necessary and important graduations in life. A couple" years ago I was stunned to find myself at a kindergarten graduation or two but this year of 2000 also brought an invitation to not only the high school and 8th grade graduations, but also to a PRE-school graduation!! During my lifetime, I will have been through 31 graduations, not including my own two! That is unless someone comes up with graduation-from-the-womb ceremonies with a tiny diploma which reads, "If you think this was hard and unfair, you've got another think coming, and if you don't like it just go ahead and bawl it you think it will do any good!

I suppose it's necessary to remind the youngsters that they have made important accomplishments and should be recognized for it in order to be persueded to continue in that mode until the Final graduation., but has anyone told them that ceremony or not, they will have to graduate from the School of Hard Knocks and the schools of Endurance, Thought, Patience, Personal Integrity, Spirituality, and many other "Higher Learning" schools?

Do you suppose in that Final graduation we will be recognized for doing the best we could with high honors or will we be noticed for having just "skimmed'~ by? However one decides to get through it, it is interesting to note that after the last one there will be no more graduations and we will be remembered only for the Degree we earned along the way!

Dear God
If we really only get out of life what we put into it, why do so many bother - and so many more don't bother at all?

Dear God
My mother says that if I want to be a beautiful person, I have to start in inside of me.I started with lots and lots of cookies which are very,very good and a cake that was very beautiful but it all came back out I don't think I will ever get beautiful!

Dear God
Please remind me to judge myself according to the same thought and criticisms by which I manage to judge others; and then if I don't like it, please remind me that it was your job in the first place!

[April, 2000]

We take time for granted - always believing that tomorrow we will do this and do that.
Tomorrow comes and goes and what we were to do didn't get done so we"ll have to do it "tomorrow" again. I'm sure you get the idea because we are all guilty. "So what" you say. "I'll do it tomorrow!"

It has caught up to me and I really am the worse for it. Example: I hadn't been out to see Erma at Prairie View since before Christmas, I guess my conscience was bothering me because I kept thinking I'd better get out there. "I'll go tomorrow." Last week I got to see Erma - at the funeral home....

I had been telling myself to call my friend, - Harriet Miller to set up a time to meet for lunch like we used to do. I hadn't seen her all winter. She was buried yesterday due to a severe stroke.

Two weeks ago Sunday after church I told Carl Dyer I'd call him regarding Easter music. The following Sunday his heart gave out and he, too, was buried. Of course I hadn't called him.

I did not get to say goodbye to any of these prescious people. It does bother me and tells me that putting off people just is not the same as putting of f duties. The duties will always be there.. but the people won't.

P.S. - This article is a month late due to a scheduling misunder-standing. Dear readers, please realize the message is meant for your hearts and mine - for the remainder of our lives, the one that Carl tried to teach by his example. (Helen)

[December, 1999]
For the past month I've burdened myself with another part-time job in order to unburden myself of more dental and optical bills.. and of course, the scores of supplements. Thank goodness I am able, at my advancing age, to manage this temporary work because so far it has paid these mediums designed to preserve the anatomy for a far greater, more magnificent purpose, than just carrying on the average, mundane, daily chores of living. That purpose, dear friends, is to enter the casket with my teeth and eyesight. I will need my glasses to see the writing on the wall and to check the uneven stitches on the quilt I made which was too awful for anyone to keep, so it gets buried with me. The teeth, of course, will be busy chewing off my nails because I have not only reverted back to my childhood, but they say the nails grow after death and Lord knows I don't want them clawing me to life with no way out. Perhaps they could pry the lid open in case I change my mind. After all - with my supplementally rejuvenated body and mind, I would have the last laugh when the sobbing. passers-by glance into the coffin and read the words, "Eat your hearts out, suckers!" and then I shall, with my new 20/20 vision, ever so slyly --give 'em a wink!

If you think this is morbid and a little bit disgusting, you are right. Think blind, toothless, bald, wrinkled, gnarled and instruct the casket to be closed.. - then spend the rest of your time and money by volunteering and helping others and working on improving the inside, this is the part God sees!

[October, 1999]

For the past month I've burdened myself with another part-time job in order to
unburden myself of more dental and optical bills.. and of course, the scores of
supplements. Thank goodness I am able, at my advancing age, to manage this tempor-
ary work because so far it has paid these mediums designed to preserve the anatomy
for a far greater, more magnificent purpose, than just carrying on the average,
mundane, daily chores of living. That purpose, dear friends, is to enter the
casket with my teeth and eyesight. I will need my glasses to see the writing on the
wall and to check the uneven stitches on the quilt I made which was too awful for
anyone to keep, so it gets buried with me. The teeth, of course, will be busy
chewing off my nails because I have not only reverted back to my childhood, but
they say the nails grow after death and Lord knows I dontt want them clawing me
to life with no way out. Perhaps they could pry the lid open in case I change
my mind. After all - with my supplementally rejuvenated body and mind, I
would have the last laugh when the sobbing passers-by glance into the cof-
fin and read the words, "Eat your hearts out, suckers!t1 and then I shall,
with my new 20/2C vision, ever so slyly give 'em a wink!

If you think this is morbid and a little bit disgusting, you are right. Think
blind, toothless, bald, wrinkled, gnarled and instruct the casket to be closed.. -
then spend the rest of your time and money by volunteering and helping others
for working on improving the inside, this is the part God sees!

[September, 1999]
When I was in 6th grade I was introduced to the B flat cornet through Uncle Charlie
and Leland Stamm; Uncle Charlie because he had one - dented and green from age and neglect, and Leland Stamm who was the Jr. High band director who was beloved by all who knew him. Upon learning of my desire to be in band knowing that I had no money for an instrument but had an old horn at my disposal, told me I had perfect lips for a horn. It was a nice way of saying that no upper lips have their uses too! By the time I got that horn cleaned up, however, I was not so anxious to play it. That was okay anyhow because I had to practice on the mouthpiece for a week first. By the time I was allowed to attach the mouthpiece to the horn, I felt I had 6 pair of lips instead of one!
Undaunted, I practiced... in the basement in the cob room with the mice.. and practiced.
There was little else to do; I think the neighbors alt moved or something. After 6
months I abandoned that obsession and got a ukelele. The neighbors magically came
back. I went through that and the mouth harp and the piano, which we inherited
from my grandmother, To this day I can't play any of them to my satisfaction, but I
was sure surprised when I picked up the cornet 25 years later and played the chrom-
atic scale without effort! I actually remembered how.
Halos to the parents who take advantage of their children's remarkable memories
by instilling good ones during tbose formidable, young absorbing years by setting
good examples through actions and speech. Horns to the ones who don't! Kids love to
have idols - someone they can look up to and not be embarrassed by. These are the
people they emulate unconsciously or otherwise. When my grandson was 5 I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and his eyes got big as saucers and he looked at me incredulously and said, "Grandma, you know I already AM a farmeri" When he was B and his brother was 4, their dad, at a particularly busy time and constantly stepping on little toes, said to them, "Why donut you boys do something special today, like play ball, swim; you need to get a childhood." The little brother responded, "What's a childhood?" and the big brother said, "We just want to be with you, dad; that's whats fun!" Needlesstosay, dad gave up and today he has two farmers helping him, who keep dad on his toes!

Using quotations of others is always better than using your own: you get in a lot less
trouble.... (Helen Bickett)

"If love isn't taught in the home, it's difficult to learn it anywhere else."

"I've learned that my children expect as much from me as I expect from them."

"Whines are the product of sour grapes."

"So live that when people speak evil of you, no one will believe it."

"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."


[August, 1999]
Some people's children live hundreds of miles away. They miss out on their kid's
and grandkid's adolescent years with all the every day occurrances and relation-
ships that form memories. My family is scattered to the four corners of my world:
one is 10 miles East, one is 5 miles south, one 4 miles northwest and the other a 5
minute walk across the field; however, I often think they would still all like to be living back home. Sometimes I think they are! They come and go like (and with) flies.

As I reflect upon the recent Kennedy tragedy, I'm forced to reflect upon those
having occurred in my own family sphere over the years. Weeve all experienced the
dwindling of our forebearers through one tragedy after another. It happens to
families everywhere. One of my families is a large, close-knit one with many cou-
sins, much like the Kennedys. The other was very small, quiet and subdued like I
was expected to behave, like it or not. Since I didn't like it, my greatest joy was to go visit the big, rowdy clan!

A close-knit, loving family is the most important part of life to many people.
To others it is a hassle to be avoided. It is, to me, a hassle I seek out. These
kids and grandkids keep me alive with the most important duty on earth: making good
memories! If I can sit still long enough to provide this for them, I will not have
lived in vain. I worry about it though, because I'm not a sqneezably soft, cookie
baking grandma like so many are. I'd rather take them to McDonald's, or make
floating hollyhock ladies or sit them down to sew button faces onto muslin so
I can continue with my quilting! I like to joke and tease and have been known to
"preach" a bit now and then. I don't really know how they would eulogize me. I
only know that for some reason they love me almost as much as I love them. I do
know that if you1 re rich or poor or famous or not, it doesn't really matter -
as long as you live your long OR short life in an effort to create good memories
for yourself and for others, because anyone who has good memories will build on
them to continue the tradition of working to make a better world. We say they
were taken too soon, too soon... but were they? In each painful incident of
our lives there were good memories prior to the end for someone, and they created
the essence of life: Hope! Hope for better things to come.

I hope that all your horns become halos while there's still time.
------------------
The important thing is not what others think of me, but what I think of me.
The more a child is valued,the better his values will be.

[July, 1999]
I remember what it was like as a kid to run barefoot outdoors on the first warm day of spring.
I remember the special sweetness of cold ice cream on a summer day.
I remember jumping up and down in autumn leaves, and rolling over and over in them while they crackled beneath me.
I remember the first time I had to get up in front of an audience and give a report, and thinking, "I can't do this!" and all the while I was doing it - and the more I did it the easier it was.

Today my oldest grandson was confirmed at church along with 5 others whose relatives in attendance were as equally proud of their child or grandchild as I was, and am, of mine. To speak up into a mi-crophone before an audience of great proportion and tell what Jesus Christ means in your life, is quite a commitment of purpose for an adult, much less a teenager. I can't say how proud I am of him or for that matter, of his dad and mom who have set examples for him and steered him on spiritual path throughout his impressionable years.
I remember the disappointments of childhood and devastations wreaked upon me in adulthood, and then the moment of truth in each and every inci-dent, when I knew without a doubt that as long as I had the love of God in my heart, I would never be defeated., for each day is a new beginning.

Each day is a new beginning - another chance to learn more about our-selves, to care more about others, to laugh more than we did, to accomplish more than we thought we could, to be more than we were before.
I hope today is just the beginning of many incredible years for these con-firmands, as they move forward in life to fulfill their promises to them-selves, and in their family's and God's expectations of them!

[May, 1999]
I have not been in awe of, nor totally surprised at medical doctors recently giving in to the idea that people who are more spiritually healthy, are more apt to be nhvsically healthy. I have always believed it myself. In fact, I was quite convinced of it when I learned of the miraculous recovery of a pastor in an eastern state who has nearly regained the use of most of his limbs after being paralyzed when his neck was broken due to a fall from his
horse at age 80.(The pastor, silly.... the nice, young horse had to be destroyed!)

What does awe and amaze me is that these doctors do not tout the benefits of vitamins and herbs for one's physical well being, but leave that up to the "doctorate" doctors who manufacture them.. and of course, to the pastor. Yes, I did say pastor! A pastor recently told me of the medical benefits of a particular vitamin., when to take it, how many and what mgs to use! (He even makes house calls and I remain clothed.) I have yet to receive a bill from him but I did pay the M.D. $68.00 for 10 minutes of poking and prodding my far-
cically gowned body. Perhaps that is what is referred to as a Religions Experience, but I'm more inclined to believe it was when the pastor offered to buy the vitamin for me if I couldn't afford it!

Am I crazy or is it everyone else?!!?

[April, 1999]
Having just returned from Champaign, IL for the annual three-day convention of county board members of H.C.E. (Home & Community Education alias Homemaker Extension Association alia Home Bureau and a few other aliases inbetween)., it has come to my attention that the home lesson service from the University of Illinois, in its efforts over the past 75 years, to educate us ignorant women, has never once given a "how to arrive home from such a trip at 7 p.m., unpack, do laundry, sort mail, return accumulated sweepstakes offers before the 48 hour 5 year deadline, file assorted papers of invaluable information received at conference, hide purchases made at the mall, pay charge card bill, fall into bed, fall immediately to sleep, arise at 5 a.m., put away quilts displayed at your guild's show the weekend before you left, dust, vacuum, change bedding, wash skillet and grease hplatters off the stove, clean beard stubbles from the bathroom sink, take 5 telephone messages, return 3 calls during which you're informed that its Friday, NOT Monday and you have to sing a solo part at church Sunday, write an article for their newsletter to be printed Saturday NOT Monday, bathe, shampQo, set & dry and leave for your laundry job at the nursing home by 3:45-never mind preparing dinner ahead for '0 Retired One~ who will be dining while you work for minimum wage in order to pay for your nursing home insurance so your kids won~t be burdened if you never slow down long enough to die" lesson. The hardest part is trying to figure out what to write in the church newsletter and sitting long enough to type it. It takes a concerted effort of any left-over brain cells to accomplish such a feat which explains why you are reading what you're reading at this moment. NOW you can take a breath.. .me tool

[November, 1998]

The thoughts are congregating in my mind faster than I will ever be able to type them! There - I DID get started and there's no stopping me now., not until I tell you about Monday, Oct. 26- the day before yesterday. God has carried me kicking and screamimg through so many "horn and thorn" periods of my life, that I can hardly believe He would send me one Halo day that will sustain me forever until I die.. Monday, October 26, 1998.

I'm not sure why (well I am, but I'll let you figure it out) with stained jeans and flannel shirt, on this particular morning, I suddenly decided to head south down route 180 and 29 to the Heritage Manor care facility in Chillicothe. Whether I was using my friend as an excuse to travel route 29 or if I was using route 29 as an excuse to visit my friend doesn't really matter, since my Guardian hopped on my back and said, "Go for it!"

I don't know about you, but I do my best thinking, praying, planning and yes - even my "stinkin thinkin" as I was doing this day - when I'm alone in my vehicle out on the open road, with no interruptions.. Yes, I agree that if I thought more about my driving, my vehicles and my insurance company would like me a lot better! Perhaps this will sound familiar to you, but right in the middle of my mean mindedness, this monkey on my back pinched my neck, making the muscle and shoulder burn like fire, while he harped in my ear, "stop that! Look around you. Glance to your right and see what has been given to you. Forget your black and grey gloom and doom thoughts and see the Halos!" Thousands of halos were actually lined in overlapping puffs along the horizon in numerous shades of golds, reds, greens, oranges, burgundies, yellos. . . .oh what a guilt THAT would make! (No wonder my favorite plant in the whole world always has been and always will be, the TREE!) Autumn is my favorite season and I suppose right now that's because I'm in the Autumn of my years.. .and it is the most beautiful season of all!

When I arrived at my destination, I was greeted by my joy-filled friend who was sporting a new, motorized wheelchair. She is 38 years old and due to a terrible vehicle accident when she was 18, was left mostly paralyzed with only limited use of deformed hands and one eye - plus memories of her youth in a disfunctional family atmosphere. She is happy because, as she states it, "If this hadn't happened to me I would not have spent these years in nursing homes around people who have also lost bodily functions and worse -mental abilities. God left me with an eye, better hearing, my mind, deeper insight and knowledge of Him, which I was on the wrong path to learn at age 18."

Friends - do I need to tell you what I was thinking on the way home? The guardian monkey is still on my back - to stay!!

[September, 1998]

I have learned that if a person lives long enough, he or she will be starting over at some point during that life; some per- haps several times. This can be a good thing - or not so good, depending upon one S attitude and the circumstances. Life has joys to cherish and pain to endure, but I like to think that all past events are tutorial, leading us to the present day. Do we ignore signs along the way, forgetting to touch base, then slide home only to be put out? Or do we play by the rules, touching, every base and sliding home free?!!?

In the beginning, as we note from the book of Genesis, man found himself wandering as nomads, in search of spiritual leader- ship - much the same as today, in fact. In Exodus, however, we learn that by banning together with strength of purpose and a greater understanding of God's desire in their personal lives, amazing things occurred - much the same as today, in fact! The real fact is that only when these people accepted God's laws in their lives, did they truly multiply and thrive; a good lesson for everyone, especially with today's advancing technological standards and deteriorating moral standards.

I have recently acquired a computer for which there are no in- structions. If someone knowledgeable helps me, understanding comes much easier, with less chance of _'losing" the informa- tion that my time and effort gave to the project. Consider the options we have in our lives and how our decisions affect the lives of others. Wouldn't strength in leadership by parents who set moral guidelines for their children, by their own example, be of greater benefit than those who don't touch all the bases? These are the parents who will receive their rewards (and halos) when their children "rise up and call them blessed." Those who do not set spiritual standards, will receive the horn of plenty pain when they are put out at home. A person with vision in only one eye, must turn his head toward the weak side in order to view the entire horizon. Likewise, a man who is deaf in one ear must turn his hearing ear toward the speaker, or miss out on the conversation. Just a split second of not seeing or not hearing causes one to lose direction of where to go and how to get there. A puppy will follow the mother who feeds him. He will thrive if the milk is good but if it is sour, he will get sick, scavenge for garbage and end up a miserable cur with no- one to lick his wounds - unless he goes back to his mom who has by then dried up, and of course he must return to the garbage which is now a habit.

Many of us believe that a little spark of the Holy Spirit re- sides within each one of us and all we need to do is pay heed in order to get on the right path. Isn't it interesting that when we do wrong we say, "the devil made me do it" and when we do good we are supposed to say nothing? If Right speaks for itself, so also does Wrong speak for itself and it's no use trying to lay blame elsewhere because we were all born with freedom of choice; if, from the beginning, we are only taught the right way to use it!