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Regret is a Crippling Emotion - a sermon
 

"Beginning Again"                        Ephesians 2:4-10

By The Rev. Robert L. Boettner, OSL 

Fourth Sunday of Lent

March 30, 2003

Leonia United Methodist Church, NJ
 

In the Name of the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier

             Two men are leaning against the office water cooler. One says to the other, “Say, you look depressed.  What are you thinking about?”

            “My future,” his friend sighed.

            “What makes your future look so hopeless?” the first man asked.

            “My past,” he replied.

            Don’t we wish we could be a fly on the wall for the rest of that conversation! I’d like to know what regrets from that man’s past were stealing away his hope for the future.

            Louisa Tarkington spoke for many people when she wrote:

I wish there were some wonderful place

            called the Land of Beginning Again,

Where all of our past mistakes and heartaches,

            And all of our poor selfish grief,

Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door

            And never be put on again.

             Regret is a crippling emotion because it leaves us chained to the past. Regret provides the ammunition for the twin demons of shame and guilt. It erodes our self-esteem. It is the little voice that whispers in our ear, “Remember your failures, remember your foolish decisions. Remember the kind of person you were.”

             The Apostle Paul, of all people, understood the corrosive power of regret. As a devoted Pharisee, Paul--then called Saul--had been a chief persecutor of the early Christian believers. In the book of Acts, chapter 7, we read of the execution of Stephen, a young man who was arrested and stoned to death by the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling council, because he preached so boldly about Jesus as the Messiah. Chapter 7, verse 58 reads, “Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.” And Acts 8, verse 1 tells us, “And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.” Oh yes, Saul knew what it was to have regrets. In Acts 9, Saul has a life-changing encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. Afterwards, he changes his name to Paul. When he tries to join up with the other Christians, they reject him at first. They know of his past. How can they be sure that he’s a changed man? So Paul goes away for a time of discipleship. When he returns, he is ready to take on the mantle of leadership. And Paul becomes the most effective Christian evangelist in history.

             Oh yes, St. Paul knows the power of regrets. But he also knows the indisputable power of Christ to change a person from the inside out. He knows the power that can change a man from a murderer to a minister. And so, St. Paul is not afraid to be honest in his letter to the Ephesians.

             “You were dead through the trespasses and sins in which you once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient.” (Eph. 2: 1-2)

             You were dead--how’s that for total honesty? Not just, “You were messed up.” “You were morally challenged.” “You were failing to self-actualize.” No, St. Paul says, “You were dead through the trespasses and sins in which you once lived . . .” Let’s not kid ourselves about our fate before we came to know Christ. Jesus didn’t just come to help us reach our potential, or to make us nicer people. Christian comedian Mike Warnke says, “Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good. He came to give dead people life!” St. Paul is not reminding the Ephesian believers of their past to cause them shame. In fact, he sympathizes with them when he says in verse 3, “All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else.”

             All of us once lived like that. We were all in the same boat. None of us is better than anyone else. So what do we do with our past? What do we do with our fears and failings and foolish decisions? What do we do with that accusing voice in our head? St. Paul is only reminding us of our past so that we can rejoice even more in the present. He writes, “But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved-and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” (Eph. 2: 4-7, NIV)

             We were dead, but now we are alive! And not just a barely-breathing-on-life-support kind of alive. We are made alive with Christ. What does Jesus say about his kind of life in the book of St. John chapter 10, verse 10? “I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” Jesus doesn’t just give us back our old lives. He gives us a new life, an abundant life. And a life that only hints at the glorious riches of the heavenly treasure he has stored up for his followers.

             On Sept. 12, 2001, Genelle Guzman-McMillan became the last person to be rescued alive from the wreckage of the New York Trade Center’s Twin Towers. No one yet understands how she was lucky enough to survive when more than 2,800 people who were in the same building at the same time died. In a piece on survivors like Genelle a reporter for Time magazine wrote, “Having cheated death, they aren’t certain how to live.” What do we do when we were supposed to die, but instead we live? How do we go about shaping a new life? Before the attacks on the World Trade Center, Genelle was living with her boyfriend, Roger. She cared a lot about her appearance, and about going out to dance clubs with her friends. Occasionally, she and Roger attended church; they were starting to question whether there was more to life than work and club-hopping.

             But while she was trapped for 26 hours in the rubble of the Trade Center, Genelle prayed fervently to God. She knows that God saved her. After her release from the hospital, she and Roger married. They regularly attend church now. Genelle has not returned to work yet; she spends most of her time reading her Bible and watching television. Friends and family worry that Genelle is drifting. But none of them can deny the peace and strength that she has gained from her newfound faith in Jesus. Her priorities have changed. She believes that God saved her for a reason; she reads her Bible because she wants urgently to understand what that reason is.

             I think verses 8-10 in this passage answer that question for the Ephesian believers, for Genelle Guzman-McMillan, and for us:

            “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God--not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” (Eph. 2: 8-10)

             We didn’t deserve to be saved. We didn’t earn this new life. It was given to us, an unselfish gift that came from the hands of our loving and merciful God. Verse one of this passage tells us that we were dead. Verse five tells us that we are alive. And verse ten gives us the reason why: to do good works. This is the purpose that God “prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” So what do we do with our new life? We dedicate it to doing good works. Not just hit-or-miss efforts at charity, but good works as a way of life.

             In 1999, best-selling author Stephen King was hit by a car while out walking near his home. The accident left him with severe injuries. In an article in Family Circle magazine (Nov. 1, 2001), King writes that having a close brush with death taught him to contemplate the real meaning of life. As he writes, “. . . I want you to consider making your life one long gift to others. And why not? All you have is on loan, anyway. All that lasts is what you pass on. . . . Giving isn’t about the receiver or the gift but the giver. It’s for the giver. One doesn’t open one’s wallet to improve the world, although it’s nice when that happens; one does it to improve one’s self. I give because it’s the only concrete way I have of saying that I’m glad to be alive . . . ”

             Listen to that quote again: “I give because it’s the only concrete way I have of saying that I’m glad to be alive . . .” Are we glad to be alive? Are we grateful for the grace and the mercy that God has shown you? Do we remember what we were before Christ saved us? Then let that overwhelming sense of gratitude motivate us to good works. Pass on the love and mercy that God first gave us. As Stephen King wrote, “Consider making your life one long gift to others.” It is what our Savior did for us. It is what we are called to do for others.

             In her memoirs, which she published in 1997 at the age of 98, Jessie Lee Brown Foveaux shares her advice about facing hard times:

             “You say you think life is like a big puzzle. How right you are, my dear. Life is like a puzzle, and the pieces fall into place each day, and the giant puzzle lasts all along life’s way . . . God will, if we ask, give us the strength for whatever may come, so let’s put guilt and confusion behind us. Once we ask and are forgiven, we can start the new day with joy and accept the fact that we are all sinners saved by God’s grace. Then we can have a cheerful smile to light up our face to greet anyone we may meet anytime or anyplace.”

             Can we put guilt and confusion behind us? Can we start the new day with joy? We can if we accept the fact that we are all sinners saved by God’s grace. We were not made to live in the past, chained by our regrets. We were made for an abundant life of fellowship with God and service to others. Let’s start living as truly alive people today.

  

S H A L O M