All
of us are part of a family, large or small, near or far.
We have parents and grandparents, by birth or adoption. Some of us have a spouse, children, even grandchildren.
Many have aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, cousins.
We
are related to a number of persons; they are our family. As
individuals, we rely on our family—when we are young, to provide and
care for us. When we are grown, to give us emotional support,
encouragement, consolation and even at times help.
As someone has said: Home is where, when you go there, they have
to take you in. At least, we like to think that is so.
One
of reasons some give for joining a church is that they believe it will
be good for their family. They
look to the church to strengthen their family.
The church is praised when it is seen as a place that supports
the family and family values. We come to the church to get married, to
have their babies baptized. We
bring our children so they can receive religious training and moral
instruction. We come to say
good-bye to loved ones and commit them into God’s eternal keeping.
Given
these expectations and customs, it may surprise you to learn that the
early Church was regarded as anti-family. One of the main charges
leveled against the early Christians was that they were dividing
families and causing social turmoil.
In his book, The First Urban Christians, Wayne Meeks
points out that it was not Jesus or the early Church but pagan Roman
society that placed a high value on family.
It was where children were nurtured and educated.
It was the focus of work and the source of wealth.
It determined one’s social status and success.
Christianity was seen as a threat.
And,
in a way, it was. Many
converts to Christianity did break away from their families.
They did not worship the old gods or keep some of the old
traditions. They challenged
some of the accepted social mores and morality.
They made friends with persons not of their social class, even
slaves. Some even went off
to become itinerant preachers and missionaries.
Others, following Paul’s example and teachings, chose to remain
single.
It
is easy to see why Rome saw them as a treat to the family. It all went
back to Jesus, what he taught and how he lived.
Probably nothing capsulated his new teaching better than his
response to those who said his mother and brothers were looking for him.
He asked, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" Then
looking at those gathered around him, he said, "Here are my mother
and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother, and sister,
and mother." Though he
loved the home from which he had come, he now saw himself as part of a
new and larger family.
It
is interesting to note that from the cross he entrusted the care of his
mother not to one of his natural siblings but to John, his beloved
disciple and spiritual brother. By
the way, I find in that commission a call from Christ to the caring
ministry of the United Methodist Homes.
To my way of thinking, a continuation of that commission.
I,
for one, am glad that Jesus enlarged the idea of family to include the
company of believers all around the world.
Family, as we normally think of it, can be a blessing and joy,
but it is not for everyone, some because they have little family, and
others because they have been badly treated within the family.
Family life can cause a great deal of pain and heartache.
Much of the emotional damage persons suffer happens within the
context of the family. Most
psychologists and counselors will tell you that, when they work with
troubled persons, they usually end up talking more about family and
family relationships and issues than anything else.
Why
is this so? I think it is because modern family life places such
tremendous demands on us as flawed human beings.
While in social settings or at work or other places, we may
always be on our best behavior, our family sees us as we really are,
warts and all. We are not
living in a TV sitcom where everyone keeps it light.
Sad but true, we often take out our frustrations at home.
We expect too much of marriage and nuclear family. No spouse or
parent or child can meet all our emotional needs.
The sad state of many American marriages and families today is an
indication, not that we do not love our family enough, but that we ask
of it more than it can possibly provide.
One
of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is the reassurance that
all of the parent's hopes and dreams do not depend upon that child. One of the greatest gifts a child can give to a parent is the
reassurance that he does not hold his parents responsible for his
successful or failure. Whenever
a parent says to a child, "After all I have given you....",
or, whenever a child complains to a parent, "If you had only done
this or that for me....", family is being asked to carry more than
it should be asked to bear.
The
other reality of the modern world is that many persons really have no
family in the traditional sense. They
may have relatives around the country, but they live alone, single,
divorced, widowed.
Even
if our family has been a disappoint, even if we are living alone, all of
us need the things that family and intimacy are suppose to provide —
acceptance, understanding, encouragement, support.
If the family we have is not enough, where can we find the family
we need?
In
the wilderness, an Ethiopian of unknown origin and orientation, who was
returning from a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, is sitting in his chariot
reading Scripture. Now it
so happened that the Apostle Philip commanded by an angel was traveling
that same road. Led by the Spirit, he walked over to the chariot and
heard the Ethiopian read from Isaiah 53:
"He
was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet
he opened not his mouth….
By
oppression and judgment he was taken away
and
as for his generation, who considered
that
he was cut off from the land of the living... "
Philip
asked him, “Do you understand what you are reading?”!
“How
can I, unless someone guides me?”
“Maybe
I can help.” says Philip.” Get in.” says the Ethiopian.
Why
is this man so interested in this passage?
I'll
tell you why: Because he is a eunuch!
He
has been cut off, both literally and figuratively.
He is a court official, but he has no family and never will.
Moreover, procreation was so important to the ancient Hebrews—
it was held to be the key to the survival of the nation and the only
form of immortality for individuals—that eunuchs were banned from the
Temple. The Laws of Moses
made it clear in Deut. 23:1: “A eunuch shall not enter the assembly of
the Lord.”
Why
then had this Ethiopian gone to Jerusalem?
Possibly
because he had read in Isaiah 56 this promise:
To
the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths,
who
choose the things that please me
and
hold fast to my covenant,
I
will give, in my house and within my walls,
a
monument and a name better than sons and daughters;
I
will give them an everlasting name
which
shall not be cut off. v.4-5
He
had gone up to the temple in Jerusalem, but they would not let him in;
he was rejected; for him there was no monument; no new name.
So now he wants to know: Who was this who is cut off, who was
despised and rejected? Was it the prophet or someone else?
Philip
says to him, "It was Jesus, Jesus of Nazareth.
He was cut off, crucified; he had no issue, no children, but he
considered all his followers as one great family.”
“Can
I become part of his family?”
“Yes,
all you need to do is be baptized in his name.”
“Will
you baptize me right here and now?”
“We
need water; we are out in the desert!.”
"Look,”
said the eunuch, “here’s water!"
Right
there in the desert, a Jew and a black eunuch became brothers in
Christ.
It is that kind of family.
Whether
you are married or single, widowed or divorced, gay or straight, young
or old, whatever your race or nationality, whether you are rich or poor,
whether your family life has been wonderful or terrible, you are welcome
in Christ’s great family. There
is room at his table for you.