Appearances to the Contrary

First UMC Fort Dodge

December 23, 2007

Mark Haverland

Matthew 1 18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. 19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. 20 But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "" Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. 21 ""She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.'' 22 Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 "" behold, the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel,'' which translated means, "" God with us.'' 24 And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him.

I guess the principal message of Christmas is that God needs partners - human partners - to accomplish our salvation. He can’t save us without our help and cooperation. And God chooses partners we would not expect. In this case it’s a young couple, in an obscure part of the world, on a journey not of their own choosing, at the most inconvenient time imaginable. God shanghais this young couple, whom no one else even notices, and gives them a gift which will change the world. This story shouts out the assurance to all of us who have found ourselves in a great mess or even just obscurity: All appearances to the contrary, God is in this with us.

I have to admit, I’m not comfortable with all the stories of the virgin birth. I’m embarrassed to keep reading, out loud and in a family setting, the texts about how Mary and Joseph didn’t have sex. I’m a Norwegian bachelor farmer by inclination, and all this public talk of sex makes me squirm. How unlikely that God will be found in an embarrassing story preoccupied with improbable biology. But God is in this story, even though Grinches like me have to look really hard.

But there is a deeper discomfort in me about the virgin birth story. I don’t believe it happened quite this way. And I’m surprised that so many people do. I’m surprised at all the sermons I read where otherwise seemingly rational, even liberal, people insist that this is the one miracle they believe in. All things are possible for God, they say, so it could very well be that God could impregnate a young girl without benefit of a human male’s participation. Well, I suppose...., but why bother trying to believe an impossibility? The Immaculate Conception is not the point of this story. The point is of the story is that Jesus entered the world pretty much as most of us did and left the world pretty much as most of us do. The point of the story is that God was among us for a while in human form. And for this to be the case Jesus was created as all babies are created - in the old fashioned way we have come to love so much. His birth was troublesome, as many births are today, coming to parents not really sure what they are getting into. The baby Jesus disrupted their lives just as all babies disrupt the lives of their parents. Jesus died the old fashioned way, as well, in agony and distress. We all die and if my visits to the nursing home are any indication, our deaths are becoming only slightly less agonizing than crucifixion. There were astonishing details about God’s choices for his birth and death, but defying biology was not one of them. God doesn’t interfere in the world in this way. Jesus was born and died the old fashioned way - just as we do. Someone once accused me of believing that the Bible is just stories. Well, there are plenty of stories in the Bible and most of them are very true, some of them even happened. This virgin birth story is not just a story, however. It’s a true story and an important story, even if it didn’t actually happen in the way that Matthew describes it.

One of the ways it is most true is in how it likens the birth of Jesus to the experience of adopting a child. When Faith and I discovered we couldn’t have a baby in the normal way, we were at first devastated. This was the ruin of our dreams. I was particularly stressed since the infertility lies with me. When the chance to adopt came up, we accepted and began a mercifully short wait. My anxiety increased exponentially during the period between knowing a child was coming our way and actually having her in our arms. I take commitments like marriage and parenthood way seriously. I knew that a perfect stranger was about to enter our lives; a stranger who would be with us for ever, inherit our money and name, and become a permanent member of the family. This struck me as a very big deal and it scared me to death.

I now know firsthand that the experience of Joseph as described by Matthew matches the experience of all adoptive parents everywhere, and the millions of blended families where step parents step in and love children not their own biological offspring. As marriages dissolve and re-form with increased frequency nowadays, we look with renewed interest at the ability of Joseph to take a child not his biological offspring into his heart. As I look over the congregation in front of me, I see the story of several families where parents have stepped in to love children where there is no biological connection. I’m convinced from my own experience and the experience of many others, that the biological connection is not the most important. The virgin birth story makes no sense as reproductive science, but it makes lots of sense as it points to the wonder of parenthood in all its various forms and expressions. Just as all my fears and anxieties evaporated in the instant I first saw Kate at the lawyer’s office, so do all parents receive their children as a gift of God. Parenting is as natural as pie no matter how unusual the parentage. Sometimes with the birth of a child, all appearances to the contrary, God is indeed present. That, it seems to me, is the message of Mathew’s account of the birth of Jesus.

I also like the Matthew version of the birth story because it focuses on Joseph. It is Joseph who receives the message from God that something special is happening with the birth of his son. It is Joseph who decides to flee to Egypt to escape the wrath of King Herod. It is Joseph who decides when it is safe to return. Joseph saves his child from being the illegitimate son of a homeless, teenage mother. And it was Joseph who named his son, “God with us.” Joseph, it turns out, is a hero in the Gospel of Matthew. Joseph finds himself in a difficult and delicate situation yet he swallows all his male pride and the expectations of everyone around him. His love for Mary and her son overcome the problems of the birth. Despite all appearances to the contrary, Joseph knew that God was present in the birth of Jesus. I love the Matthew version because it shows a man willing to believe that God is in his child, all appearances to the contrary.

The birth story of Jesus assures us that God is with us, even when it seems unlikely. Do you suppose we will even find God in the ruins of our own lives? I did a funeral this past week for the grown son of friends of mine. He was 36 years old and only just figuring out how to live as an adult. He had been a huge load for his parents since childhood, dragging them through hell with drugs, sex and booze. But as I listened to them talk of their son and the years of pain and agony he caused them, it was always apparent that they knew God was in their son. They stood by him when many parents would have given up. They were stern and uncompromising in their expectations, but always kind and forgiving enough to keep him close. As they talked about their son to me in preparation for the funeral, they glossed over the bad times and focused on the humor in his antics and the charm with which he disarmed their anger at his episodes. They stressed their pride that he had become an attractive, responsible, hard working father to his son and favorite uncle to his sister’s children. In the end, all appearances to the contrary, their love and the love of God acted out through them were enough to save their son.

It’s really hard sometimes to see God in those around us. Few fathers of pregnant or addicted teens find it easy to see God in the disturbed and disturbing child. Few women find inspiration in an abusive or distant husband. Few people find an arrogant and rude boss to be an opportunity to grow and mature in their jobs. But the virgin birth story tells us that God can be found in even the darkest moments. Dennis Coon, minister of Trinity UMC in DM a few years ago, tells the wonderful story of getting to know a neighbor who seemed to run a crack house. Most neighbors hoped to drive the fellow out of town, fearful of the crime and addictions which he fostered. Denny struck up a friendship with the guy and eventually found himself leading a Bible study in the crack house one evening a week. From what he could tell, however, and contrary to his hopes, the Bible study was not having a lasting effect, even though a regular group of 6 or 7 attended and seemed engaged for the hour or so of the study. One evening, Denny asked them whether what he did with them had made a difference. He had the feeling that once he left the house, they went back to their illegal drugs and criminal activities. This they confirmed, but said that they enjoyed the peace which settled on them during the one hour a week. At least for one hour a week, they were quiet and gentle with each other rather than bickering and fighting, complaining and accusing. It just may be that we are called to be present to help people find God, if even for only a brief, temporary moment. Sometimes, all appearances to the contrary, God is with us.

I read this past week of a woman who walked into a Wal-Mart with her young daughter, all dressed up in a party dress. Those frilly dresses little four year olds wear and look so cute. The mother had a coupon entitling her to a free picture with the purchase of items from the store. She wanted to have her family picture taken at Christmas this year and this was the only way she could afford it. Unfortunately, she purchased her items with food stamps and the store refused to honor the coupon because she hadn’t used “real” money or, even better, a credit card. An argument ensued, and, after advocacy from another customer, the Wal-Mart finally relented and granted the woman a little joy at Christmas. This, it seems to me, is a modern day birth of Jesus story: someone without status gets pushed around, ignored and taken advantage of by all in authority – and only a few see God in the face of that little child. I have a hunch that if Jesus were to be born today, it would happen in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. As I watch the harried shopping of people who afford Christmas only with the help of discount stores and plastic money, I think Jesus is the last person they expect to find in the checkout line. But sometimes, all appearances to the contrary, God is with us.

The promise of Christmas is that all appearances to the contrary, God is with us where we least expect. Sometimes we have to look really hard. The birth may be hidden in the stable out back. The baby may be ordinary to almost everybody who notices him at all. Our job as faithful followers of Christ is to bring this message to all those who don’t believe that God is with them, to all those who can’t see God in their lives, to all those who appear to have no hope. Contrary to all appearances, God is here. If God was born 2000 years ago to Mary and Joseph, God will be born again in us today.

Lord, hear our prayers. Lord of Lords, King of Kings, prince of Peace. For the gift we knew not how to ask, we give you thanks. For the birth we knew not how to receive, we shout for joy. For the Lord, we did not always know how to follow, we say, “thanks.” For the light that shines in the darkness, we say, “Yes.” For the joy, the light, the birth, the gift, we give you thanks. Amen.

Prayer of Dedication

Loving creator, we pray that those plagued by hunger and homelessness, those suffering in bondage be delivered by your power at work in the world. May these gifts we offer be an active expression of love and solidarity and a harbinger of hope. Amen.