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Telling your children about marrying a Christian man

 

 

 

 

Question: I'm planning to marry a fine Christian man. Is there a "best" way to tell my children?

Answer: Remarriage, especially when children are involved, is always challenging and often requires major adjustment. There may be feelings of desertion and rejection, and even open hostility, in children and parents alike. However, remarriages that blend families can and do work. Here are some suggestions.

First, pray. Prayer is the greats means through which God's power is brought to bear on the human dilemma. When God is given a rightful place in our personal and social relationships we are assured of his guidance, protection and abiding love during life's difficult and trying times.

Second, share your concern about telling your children with your fiance. Decide together about how this matter should be handled. This Shared commitment will produce a mutual feeling of working together for the good of everyone concerned.

Third, seek family counseling. A concerned outside partner can sometimes see things we don't perceive. In such settings, family members can share true feeling, vent their fears and hopes, and "clear the air" of surface and dormant issues. When all parties understand that thoughtful marriage holds the promise of blessings for the entire family, fears and anxieties tend to subside.

Finally, take comfort in knowing that our United Methodist Church endorses the sanctity and fidelity of marriage and the family as a holy covenant between a man, woman and children where love, mutual support and personal commitment are shared under the blessings of God.