Scars that Heal

Genesis 45:1-15

Romans 8:28

A commercial which is currently running for a certain antibiotic ointment betrays our attitude toward wounds and the scars they create:

We don’t like them.

We don’t want them.

We are ashamed of them.

We want to avoid them at all costs.

But wounds happen. When wounds heal, scars form. This is a fact of life.

We scar because we are wounded. We scar because our wounds have healed. We scar because our bodies are never quite the same after we are wounded.

Oftentimes, our bodies heal better and stronger then they were before they were wounded. (Such is the case with a bone.)

This is certainly true with our spiritual and emotional scars: Just as any piece of leather has its own unique character and beauty because of the scars on it, so our wounds and the resulting spiritual and emotional scars in our lives can add to the character and beauty of our lives. As we heal from emotional and spiritual wounds, we are made into stronger, deeper people. Our character is strengthened and our spirits deepened.

This was true for Joseph.

If anybody ever suffered from emotional wounds, Joseph did. Joseph suffered some very deep wounds as a result of his brothers’ actions. His brothers’ merciless act set in motion a horrifying chain of events:

He was captured by his jealous brothers who had murderous intentions.

He was stripped of the cloak of his father’s love.

He was thrown into a pit.

He was sold into slavery.

A slave, he was carried to a foreign land.

He was sold, forced to work for an official of the Pharaoh.

He was falsely accused of attempted rape.

He was thrown into prison.

These things would not be easy to take.

Thrown into a pit, vulnerable and alone, his future was in question. Would they free him? Would they let him die of thirst and starvation alone in that pit? Would they carry out their intent to kill him?

He was sold as a slave, and in a foreign land to boot!! Did you ever consider what life would be like as a slave? A slave was nothing but a living tool in the eyes of the master. At the master’s whim, he could be beaten, starved, or put to hard labor. And when he was no longer useful to his master, he could be killed.

Imagine being a slave in prison accused of attempted rape. Imprisoned, Joseph’s future was very bleak indeed.

Mistreated and forgotten, I’ll bet that Joseph fantasized more then a couple of times about getting revenge on his brothers for what they did to him. If you were in his shoes, wouldn’t you?

When his brothers came to him seeking grain for themselves and their families, he could have chosen to treat them with hatred, but he chose not to dwell on bitterness and anger. He dwelt instead on how God was at work in the midst of his circumstances, bringing about the salvation of his family.

Let’s look at how God’s hand was at work:

His brothers threw him into a pit, rather than killing him outright. This was the first of a remarkable chain of events which led to him being elevated to a position where he could preserve his family and many others from a famine.

He might have died in that pit, but a band of traders passed through. Motivated by greed and a desire to get rid of him, his brothers sold him into slavery. Thereby his life was saved.

He was sold to the household of Potipher, one of Pharaoh’s officials, where he eventually became the head servant.

He was imprisoned but eventually became the deputy of the guard.

He interpreted the dreams of the Pharaoh’s Baker and Cup Bearer.

The Cup Bearer remembered Joseph’s knack at interpreting dreams when Pharaoh had a nightmare.

He foretold seven years of prosperity followed by seven years of famine.

He devised a plan to save the world from the coming famine.

He was placed in charge of his own plan to save the nation and his own family from the famine.

To be sure, Joseph was wounded deeply by his brother’s hateful acts. The emotional and spiritual scars resulting from their mistreatment of him could have led to anger, bitterness and revenge.

But Joseph chose not to focus on his anger at his brothers. The scars resulting from their mistreatment of him were healing scars. Instead of focusing on his brother’s hate filled action, he chose to focus on how God used his circumstances to work for the saving of many. As a result he was able to forgive his brothers. His reunion with his brothers was a joyous one, filled with tears, laughter, warm embraces, and happy talk about family and home.

What happens to you when life becomes difficult?

What happens when someone injures you? Do you forgive? Do you seek revenge?

What happens when your life is altered through accident, illness or the death of a loved one? Do you go on, acting as if nothing has happened? Do you become angry and refuse consolation? Do you give in to despair, allowing it to have final sway in your life? Do you wallow in self pity?

The story of Joseph offers us another option: we could look for the blessing that God has prepared for us in the midst of our afflictions.

When I read the conclusion of the story of Joseph, I think of Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (NRSV) His story is an illustration of this promise.

Our wounds can embitter us and destroy us, or they can heal and strengthen us.

Joseph, instead of holding on to bitterness and the desire for revenge, looked over his life and discovered how God was at work in the midst of his circumstances. The brothers intended it for evil, but God used it for the good, to the salvation of many, including his own family, the family line which would later multiply and become a great nation.

Our wounds can embitter us and destroy us, or they can heal and strengthen us.

A page out of the life of my own family might be helpful in illustrating my point:

Dealing with the death of a loved one can be a gut wrenching experience. Dealing with the death of a loved one through murder is doubly hard.

It has now been twelve years, five months, and six days since my sister was murdered.

Even after all this time, the shock and horror of this loss still strikes our family very deeply. We bear deep scars from this tragedy which we will carry with us forever.

At my sister Lori's wedding this past June, the videographer asked my father to share on camera the greatest sorrow and the greatest joy Lori experienced in her lifetime. Without even hesitating, he said that the greatest sorrow ever experienced by Lori and the rest of our family is the loss of her sister.

Her murder is something that shook up and redefined each of us individually and our whole family system.

A couple of days after it happened, I began to have awful anxiety attacks. Each member of my family was affected by the high emotional tension in different ways.

Initially, it was hard for us to come together as a family because we knew someone was missing and that she wasn’t ever coming home again. It was hard even to talk about her or even mention her name because then the tears would flow and the anger would well up inside of us.

The Holiday Season of the year she died was particularly hard. Thanksgiving and Christmas felt empty and joyless. There was an empty place where she used to sit for Thanksgiving. There was an empty place where Debbie's gifts used to be on Christmas morning. She wasn’t sitting there laughing and teasing and having a good time as she joyously opened her presents and celebrated with us.

The bullet fired on that day could have destroyed all our lives and damaged our family beyond repair, but it didn’t. Why? Because God was there. God’s people were there. And God was working out things for the good.

My parent’s Church was there for us in a big way. They were there with visits, phone calls, cards, flowers, gifts of food. Their love and concern was a source of great comfort and encouragement.

The churches I served also offered prayerful support to my family as well as my Mom and Dad. Upon learning the tragic news, Roseville Church immediately sent my family and I to Mifflintown with their prayers and a monetary gift to help with traveling expenses. I still remember the delicious smell of the fresh baked rolls the good people of Mainesburg Church brought to my Mom and Dad's house the day of the viewing. They traveled some three hours just to hold us in arms of love.

Through this experience, we became aware of the presence of God to help us, the presence of the people of God to comfort us, and the preciousness of our life together. The love of God and the concern of the people of God healed us and made us strong again.

God brought some remarkable gifts to my family in the midst of this most awful time in our lives. God made all of us people of greater spiritual depth. God caused to grow within us a deeper appreciation of the preciousness of life and an understanding that it’s a gift we should never take for granted. God saw to it that the bonds of love and concern in my family would ever stronger so that we can help each other as we face each new challenge.

I don't believe for a minute that God caused my sister's murder. But through these twelve plus years we have seen God's mighty hand at work, drawing us closer to God and God's people and cementing the bonds of love in our family. God caused even this most difficult circumstance to work out for our good.

It is up to us to decide how we will deal with the inevitable emotional and spiritual wounds we experience in life. These wounds can grow scars of bitterness and anger, driving us further away from God and each other. Or we can look for God’s hand at work. As we look for God and discover how God is at work, these wounds can become a source of healing, producing scars which will make us stronger and deeper people.