When I was growing up, I didn’t know any cools dads – not even my own. They seemed so stern and severe back then. In this current generation it just seems that dads are way cool!

Dads now share more child raising responsibilities than their forebears. I see dads dropping the kids off at the daycare in the morning or picking them in the afternoon and it is so natural and comfortable! There is also really cool dad and kid gear now.

   I pushed a very purple stroller with my kids in it when they were small, but now they sell jogging strollers and kid gear in guy colors.  Dads look very cool jogging with those strollers – much cooler than the dorky ones I pushed. Today's dads just seem so at ease sharing all of those kid-care tasks. A lot of dads are single parents and do a good job at kid care. Still, being a dad is a tough job.

   When a man becomes a dad he isn't given a manual or a “Fatherhood for Dummies” book. Whatever he knows about being a dad he will have gleaned from his own father or from father figures he knows. The way he related to his father in childhood and how he interacted with his dad counts for a lot of his learning. The rest will come from on-the-job training and resources he discovers along the way. Among those important resources are the Bible and his own relationship with God.

   The Bible presents quite a diversity of men as fathers and father figures. Some were truly awful; others were shining examples of fatherhood. Among the finest is Hosea.

   The Book of Hosea is about love in the face of disloyalty.  It is one of the great love stories of our Bible — though it’s not about an unfaithful, ambitious or careless husband. It’s about a wife who goes whoring behind her husband’s back and sometimes in front of his face. Though Hosea wants to leave her and those kids of hers and cut his losses; he just can’t.

    Hosea is a clergy – a prophet. He is a man who has just trashed his own reputation at God’s command. He was asked to marry that woman and did his best to turn her around. But it was a losing battle. That he is exasperated shows in the names he gave to the three children his wife bore. He believed not a one was his. He called the first one, Jezreel, which refers to the playground where what went on in Jezreel stayed in Jezreel.  The second, Lo-ruhamah, means, “Not pitied-not loved.” The third, Lo-Ammi means, “You’re not Mine.“ This is a great burden for Hosea, but God says to him that he needs to be more faithful, more loving, more loyal. He is a good man and he says to his wife in all her shamelessness: “I’ll keep my promise to make you mine; I’ll keep you mine forever – no matter what.”

   The depths of Hosea’s soul are visible in his writings. He loves the God of Israel but he has become discredited as one who married badly and can’t manage his household. Those three kids cannot be controlled; they’re in trouble every time he turns around. But God is at work in Hosea’s heart and soul through these sad circumstances.  We learn from Hosea much about God — and how to be a parent.

    We learn that God is a loving God and that God’s love is deep. God’s love is a stubborn love — God will not give up. And that the kind of love God offers is forbearing, forgiving and has as its purpose, our redemption.

   God speaks to Hosea’s soul. The deep wracking pain of love that Hosea experiences for his wayward family is what God experiences for the human family.  The hopes and dreams that were dashed by our willfulness, selfishness, sinfulness, are not dead. God holds them in his heart even as God holds us in his heart. Grace, mercy and forgiveness are a part of God’s nature. This is what God is like. God does not give up; so, neither does Hosea.

   I’m sure that Hosea heard about his wife’s exploits through the years. I’m sure that more than once he had to rescue those kids, bail them out, pay their fines, listen to their empty promises, knowing they’d get in trouble all over again.  – And I’m sure, just like their mother that they did.

   Hosea had learned from God what it means to be a father and a husband.  It means that you don’t give up. You don’t write them off. You don’t throw them away.  They will make their own beds and they will lie in them; but if they call, love will answer. It will be tough love…but the tough love of God heals and makes a broken life whole again.

   Years pass, but Hosea hasn’t given up on his family – because God has not given up, either. He prays for them and thinks about them constantly. He wonders what they are doing; if they are ok; what can he do for them? He never stops searching for his wife, seeking out the poorer places only ragged people go. A prophet is out of place there – but he goes seeking, searching hoping — because this is just what God does for all of us. Love doesn’t quit.  

   Then one day he saw her. She was standing on the auction block in the slave market. Her beauty is gone; she is barely dressed. She is to be sold as chattel property – and won’t bring much of a price. Hosea buys her back for a pittance. But she is not his slave; he takes her home as his wife; he receives her children back as his own. He even changes the names of those children to reflect his deepest faith in them. From “Not Loved” to “Beloved”; from “Not Mine” to You Are Mine” It is an amazing picture of grace and love – God’s kind of love.

   A real dad will just never give up. It makes no difference if they reject him – his values and counsel. For a real dad, loving is not about what he might get out of it; it is about giving and sacrificing; it is about keeping faith, hope and love alive always – no matter what. A dad believes that love prevails and redeems. You can do your absolute best to raise your kids’ right and they turn out all wrong; but love will overcome.

   A loving dad will experience a measure of pain and sometimes more. You might despair that your kids will ever get it right. You might see them turn away from all you taught them to do as they do everything all wrong. But real dads just don’t give up.

   Men make a difference in the lives of their children. Children at any age need their dad and dads need their kids. But no one said it would be easy. It is difficult, confusing, sometimes lonely and heart-rending to be a dad.

   There is no ideal dad. It is all trial and error anyway. What matters is for fathers to be committed to their children and involved with them over time. When fathers take that responsibility seriously, they will have few regrets.

   If I have learned anything as a dad, it is to embrace fatherhood. Once you are a dad, you are a dad for life. That changes a man. It asks you to grow up, to take your place to be there for others and to exchange selfishness for selflessness.

    There is no time in a child’s life that being a dad doesn’t count. Just being there is a gift you can give to your kids. Working together or just hanging out together can be as important as having adventures. Kids’ need an adult dad who is there – not as a pal or buddy, but as a father. You are teaching them just by the simplest interaction how they also can become mature adults.   Kids whose dad lets them know that they are worth their fathers’ time and attention are kids who grow up healthy and strong. Those contemporary dads who interact so well with their children as babies, stand a good chance of having a great relationship all of their days together.

   Dads lose out on so much when they leave that part to mom. Sadly, Mom often goes it alone. How much better when they share parenting and spiritual leadership together!  A dad who has a strong spiritual life not only has the most important resource possible to be a great dad, but also can impart that quality to his kids. 

   That was the great secret of Hosea’s heart. He put God first. When things were at their worst, he had the strength to love and stay in the game. It made the difference between life and death.  A father’s love makes that kind of difference.  Amen.