Here are some jokes that have been collected from throughout the Rocky Mountain Conference. If you have a joke that you would like to post to this page, please send it along with you name, denominational affiliation, and the name of your church to Rev. Harold Anderson. Enjoy!

One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and here parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, "Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?" Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss of the house." But Krystal quickly burst his bubble whe she added "Cause Mommy put you in charge, huh Daddy?"

Little brother: What do I do know?
Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.
Little Brother: Like this?
Big Brother: Yeah.
Little Brother: Now what?
Big Brother: Hit "ENTER."
Little Brother: "ENTER"?
Big Brother: I mean "flush."

When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. But anyway, I got out our wedding album, thinking visula images would help, and explainde the entire service to her. Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh. I see. Is that when Mommy came to work for us?"

A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down te aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started singing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you . . . "

After listening restlessly to a long and terdious sermone, a 6 yera old boy asked his father what the preacher did te rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man." the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor . . . And then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought aboout that, and said: "Well, listening ain't easy, either."

I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Preyer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after me. One night she said she was ready to solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunicated each word, right up tot eh end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen." ~Christine Dye~

Here's some interesting "Church Signs":

> Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!

> Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

> Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!

> An ad for St.Joseph's Episcopal has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed & a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

> When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

> Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons--come hear one!

> A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."

> People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

> Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!

> When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out allright. Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.

> Fight truth decay--study the Bible daily.

> How will you spend eternity--Smoking or Non-smoking?

> Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives

>Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

> It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.

> Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.

> If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

> If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.

> Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

> This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------> (U R)

> Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

> In the dark? Follow the Son.

> Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.

> If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.

Here's one that is a little more serious:

An Angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of you life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use you head. To handle others, use you heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it's his fault. If he betrays you twice, it's your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into it's nest.

He who loses money, loses much,
He who loses a friend, loses more;
He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.