SAGIP JOKES
"Now, more
than ever, LAUGHTER is still the best medicine in the world."
Grupongsagip is not a commitment,,, it's passion.
HOW TO REALLY ENJOY LIFE ON EARTH (so you’ll stay young & happy)
1. Keep Learning. Never let the brain get idle. Idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
2. Laugh often. Long and loud. Laugh until you gasp
your breath.
If you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots of time with
him or her.
3. Enjoy the simple things in loving the earth. Like
your passion in gardening, planting
trees, educating people, writing, exploring nature, etc.
4. Keep only cheerful friends. The problematic and cranky pull you down.
5. Throw out nonessentials: age, weight, height,
nonsense insecurities. Worrying makes
you sick.
6. Let go of your tears. Endure grieve and move on.
Live while you are alive. Avoid being
alone. The heck is your problem! Life goes on.
7. Surround yourself with what you love. Family, pets,
music, trees, plants, hobbies... Your
home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health. Stop eating & drinking junks
and poisons.
Preserve, improve, get help.
9. Don’t travel with your guilt. Take a trip to the
mall, even to a foreign country, but not to
where the guilt is. Forgive people.
10. Tell God and trusted persons of your deepest concerns.
Bear in mind, expressing is
healing. Confess your sins to the Mercy-giver.
11. Serve people and other creatures with all the love and honesty.
12. Be inclusive and generous. Heaven is where
diversity, co-existence, reconciliation,
cooperation, sharing, and friendliness are found.
Alma Bella Rapiz-Respicio/Leon Frigillana Requinton Namzug
8 Super Food Swaps for Longevity
By Dr. Maoshing Ni - Posted on Thu, Apr 16, 2009, 4:06 pm PDT
1. Swap green tea for coffee
For many people, the first thing they reach for in the morning is
coffee. Caffeine acts as a CNS (central nervous system) stimulant,
causing you to experience stress, anxiety, a racing mind, and even
insomnia. For a calmer energy boost, cut the coffee and go for green
tea. On average, a cup of green tea contains about
one sixth of the amount of caffeine you would get from the same cup
of coffee. Even better, green tea is full of powerful antioxidants that
ward off cancer, and tea is a proven preventive and
treatment for atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). Also,
when combined with exercise, green tea can
help you lose weight.
2. Try trailmix in place of fatty snacks
Carry dried fruits and nuts with you as healthy snacks to replace any
unhealthy ones you usually eat. Just a handful every day can help
improve circulation and muscle tone. Research shows that many of these
nuts and seeds are rich sources of vitamin E, lignans, and omega-3 fatty
acids, which help
prevent heart disease and protect you from the
ravages of aging.
3. Switch brown rice for white rice
Modern staples around the world often include refined bread, pasta,
rice, and corn. These carbohydrates that have been found to be the
culprits in serious conditions like
diabetes, stroke, and
heart disease,
arthritis, and
allergies. And there is no question that refined carbohydrates
contribute directly to weight gain. So change to whole grains to get
complex carbohydrates; said another way, swap "white" for "brown".
Substitute white rice, bread, and pasta with brown rice, whole wheat
bread, and whole wheat pasta. Other "browns" will bring you anti-aging
benefits also. Quinoa and amaranth are two tasty grains rich in protein
and easy to cook. Millet, sorghum, and buckwheat are packed with B
vitamins.
4. Swap fish for red meat
Red meat does have some health benefits-when eaten in moderation.
However, studies have shown that men and women who eat meat every day
are
three times as likely to develop
breast cancer and
prostate cancer as those who almost never eat high-fat animal foods.
Of all animal products, fish is the healthiest because of its high
protein and low-fat content. The omega-3 fatty acids in fish, along with
other nutrients, protect blood vessels from plaque, reduce
inflammation, and prevent high blood pressure. If you just can't leave
the red meat behind, choose only free-range, grass-fed, and hormone- and
antibiotic-free lean meat, and eat it no more than three times a week.
5. Use olive oil instead of butter
Butter is the bad kind of fat. Also included in this saturated fat
category: peanut oil, coconut oil, palm kernel oil, and lard. All of
these elevate
cholesterol and triglyceride levels, leading to an increased chance
of heart attack and stroke. Switch for olive oil or one of the other
monounsaturated fats, which increase good cholesterol and protect you
from heart disease and premature skin aging. Others include canola oil,
rice bran oil, walnut oil, flaxseed oil, peanut oil, and sesame oil.
Like butter on your bread? Try hummus instead.
6. Swap sweet potatoes for potatoes
While filling, potatoes just do not contain the nutritional benefits of
sweet potatoes. Yams and sweet potatoes are powerhouse foods that
contain higher amounts of beta-carotene and vitamin C than carrots, more
protein than wheat and rice, and more fiber than oat bran. They are also
rich in plant DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone)-a precursor hormone that is
essential for the body's anti-aging defenses to work.
7. Swap berries for refined sweets
The average American consumes nearly 240 pounds of sugar per year. Most
of the excess sugar from candies, pastries, sodas, and other refined
sweets end up being stored as fat in your body, resulting in weight gain
and elevating heart disease and cancer risk. Instead, satisfy your sweet
tooth with a berry tasty treat: blueberries, blackberries, raspberries,
cranberries, and cherries. Berries are rich in antioxidants that fight
free radicals and can also help remove toxic residue from the system,
which is often the cause of chronic fatigue and low energy.
8. Switch to water in place of soda
Soda pop is very high in phosphorus, which in excess actually causes
calcium loss from your bones, possibly leading you to osteoporosis.
Diet soda is filled with artificial sweeteners such as aspartame or
saccharin, which have shown dangerous results in tests with laboratory
animals. Your best beverage is
filtered water, which flushes your system of the chemicals and
toxins that you encounter every day. If water by itself doesn't appeal,
turn to juice and tea. One caution about fruit juice is that it tends to
be filled with sugar. Cut back on sugar content by watering down your
juice: one part juice to three parts filtered water. Unsweetened herbal
tea, brimming with health benefits, is another way to go. For a
selection of healthy teas that promote total body wellness,
click here.
Make these switches and you are on your way to a healthier you!
May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
JOKES NA TAYO
|
Phone Line |
||
|
A
young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just
rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."
|
Malaki
Isang araw sumulat
si Malaki sa Tatay niya at inihanda na niya ito upang ihulog sa post
office. Pero pag-alis niya nakalimutan niyang mailagay sa sobre kaya
naiwan sa dorm nila ng kapatid niyang si Maliit. Ito ang nakasulat:
DEAR TATAY,
MAGPADALA NGA PO KAYO NG SAMPUNG KILONG BIGAS AT ISANG
DOSENANG ITLOG.
ANG INYONG ANAK,
MALAKI
Dumating si Malaki at nakita niya ang nakakalat na sulat. Binasa niya.
Bigla ba namang tumalon sa kanya ang pusa at napunit tuloy ang sulat. Sa
takot ni Maliit pinagtagpi-tagpi niya ang punit-punit na sulat at siya
na mismo ang naglagay sa sobre at sinabi na lang niya kay Malaki na
inihulog na niya sa post office. Ito naman ang nakasulat sa
pinagdikit-dikit ni Maliit:
DEAR
BIGAS,
MAGPADALA NGA PO KAYO NG SAMPUNG KILONG TATAY AT ISANG
DOSENANG ANAK.
ANG
INYONG ITLOG,
MALAKI.
X [ Y Z
Tanga Mas Tanga Pinakatanga
Tanong: "Paano mo malalaman kung merong tanga sa sabungan?"
Sagot: "Kapag may nagdala ng pato."
Tanong: "Paano mo naman malalaman kung merong mas tanga sa sabungan?"
Sagot: "Kung may pumusta sa pato."
Tanong: "At paano mo naman malalaman kung merong taga-Malacañang
sa sabungan?"
Sagot: "Kapag nanalo ang pato."
X [ Y Z
Si Intsik Talaga, Business-minded
Pumanaw na si Intsik at habang naglalakad siya
papuntang langit, nakita niya si San Pedro sa crossing.
San Pedro: "Maligayang pagdating Intsik, tumuloy ka na sa langit."
Intsik : "Huwag na lang po, San Pedro. Hindi na
ako tutuloy."
San Pedro: "Ano? Nasisiraan ka ba ng bait at ayaw mo sa langit."
Intsik : "Dito na lang po ako sa crossing. Maganda po
rito magpatayo ng tindahan."
X [
Y Z
Susmaryosep!
Sister:
"Mother, aalis na po ako dito sa monasteryo."
Mother: "Susmaryosep! Bakit naman?"
Sister: "Magpo-prostitute po ako, Mother."
Mother: "Susmaryosep! Ano 'ka mo?"
Sister: "Magpo-prostitute po ako."
Mother: "Haay, salamat." (Laking luwag ang hinga ni Mother)
Pinakaba mo ako ng husto. Akala ko magpo-protestante ka."
X [
Y Z
Si Abdul Talaga
Na-late si Abdul sa klase niya sa Philippine History
at ang pinag-uusapan ay si Magellan.
Teacher: "O Abdul, bakit ngayon ka lang? Sagutin mo ito: Who killed
Magellan?"
Abdul : "Si sir naman, kararating ko lang e pinagbibintangan
niyo naman ako."
X [ Y Z
Hindi Kasi Nakapag-aral
Isang araw sa sementeryo.
Sepulturero: "Patay na pala si Apolinarya."
Karpentero: "Ay ganun! Ano ang ikinamatay?"
Sepulturero: "Ni-rape."
Karpentero: "Santisima, que barbaridad! Paano mong nalaman?"
Sepulturero: "Ayan o, nakalagay RIP."
X [
Y Z
Sorry
Pedro bumps a foreigner.
Pedro: "Ay, sori."
Foreigner: "Sorry too"
Pedro: "Sori three"
Foreigner: "What are you sorry for?"
Pedro: "Akala mo bobo ako ha. Sori five."
Foreigner: "Are you sick?"
Pedro: "Sik daw, siks! Seven sunod."
X [
Y Z
Puwede Na Ho Ba?
Ambrosio: "Doc, natatandaan
niyo pa ba ako?"
Doctor: "Sorry, hindi. Pero mukhang pamilyar ka."
Ambrosio: "Ako po yong inoperahan ninyo ng apendicitis one year ago."
Doctor: "A, oo nga pala. Naalala ko na. O bakit, anong
problema?"
Ambrosio: "Magtatanong lang Doc. Puwede na ho bang maligo?"
X [ Y Z
Good News!
Pinutol ang isang paa ni Juan dahil may cancer.
Kinausap siya ng doctor.
Doctor: "Juan, meron akong good news at bad news sa yo."
Juan: "Ano? Bakit may bad news pa? Akala ko tapos na."
Doctor: "Tapos na nga. Anong gusto mong unahin ko, good news o bad
news?"
Juan: "Bad news na lang po."
Doctor: "Juan, nagkamali tayo ng putol sa paa mo. Yong walang cancer ang
naputol."
Juan: "Anoooo! hu-hu-hu. E ano naman ang good news?"
Doctor: "Yong me cancer na paa mo, gumagaling na!"
X [
Y Z
Click this: Laughter improves your health